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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936957">Black Mesa: Day to Day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/XKIllerTart/pseuds/XKIllerTart'>XKIllerTart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Half-Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>No Beta read we die like men, Other, This is my first fic..., also like. extremely slow burn. like "whoa what I'm gay?" slow burn, at least thats what I was going for, some real Brooklyn 99 vibes, some seriousness here and there, this is Black Mesa pre-Res Cas, this is mostly stupid jokes for laffs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:48:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/XKIllerTart/pseuds/XKIllerTart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gordon Freeman starts his new job at Black Mesa. chaos ensues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barney Calhoun &amp; Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Week 1: Everybody Loves Freeman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey. thanks.</p><p>Legend<br/>Character: this is just talking<br/>Character: [this means they're thinking]<br/>Character: ((this means they're whispering))</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong></strong>
</p><p>[Monday, November 5th, 200X, 7:20, Black Mesa Transit System Tram headed for An. Mat.] </p><p>
  <strong></strong>
</p><p>A tense looking Gordon Freeman, sporting his ponytail, glasses, and clean lab coat, sat almost nervously on the tram. He’s holding a briefcase- black mesa standard issue- on his lap, and seems to be gripping it with force. He stares straight ahead- his eyes focused on nothing, yet they seem to be revealing how he's painfully aware of the situation he’s in.</p><p>A Tired looking Barney Calhoun waltzes onto the tram at the stop after Gordon’s. He grabs a hold to one of the roof rails, and almost doesn’t notice Gordon. He tenses up when he sees him, as he’s used to riding the tram alone at this hour, and the fact that this guy looks noticeably young kind of surprises him.</p><p>BARNEY: you headed down to An Mat?</p><p>Gordon’s head snapped towards him, obviously startled, and after processing what he had been told, nodded.</p><p>BARNEY: Wait, so, you’re the new guy? But you’re like, my age! Honestly, when they told us there would be a young research assistant joining, we all thought- and by we I mean us security force guys here in sector C- we all thought that you know, this guy might be around, let’s say, forty-ish? I mean, Dr. Teasley is like, eighty! They keep telling him to retire but he just won’t quit. He almost had a fall the other day, likely I was on door duty so I wasn’t around to deal with that whole shit show, but-</p><p>GORDON, Internally: [Does this guy ever stop talking?]</p><p>BARNEY, still talking: -So you’ve got to understand that a guy like you is like a unicorn, a rare sight to behold, I mean hey it’s a welcome change! We could always use more young guys around here, I mean, Fridays were getting pretty boring. You know-</p><p>GORDON: [oh my gooooood. Please shut up.]</p><p>BARNEY: -Hey, I should see if the other guys would let you come hang out with us after our shifts, I mean if you want to. We mainly drink beer and play pool, but I promise it’s fun, see-</p><p>	The Guard paused for a moment, thinking, before extending his hand to Gordon.</p><p>BARNEY: Well I'll be, where did my manners go? Nice to meet you, I’m Barney Calhoun, and I hope you’ll like it here at Black Mesa!</p><p>Gordon nodded politely. He’s got a bit of a smile, but it seems more forcibly polite than anything.</p><p>GORDON: I’m Gordon Freeman, nice to meet you. [if I ever have to talk to this guy again, I might light something on fire]</p><p>[Wednesday, November 7th, 200X, 7:20, Black Mesa Transit System Tram headed for An. Mat.]</p><p>Gordon had an interesting first day. He got the tour and was personally introduced to every member of the science team, and he couldn’t care one bit. He would have just liked to get straight to work, but no, they insisted on a lot of frivolous nonsense that just made him wish he’d stayed in Innsbruck.</p><p>	Gordon was still getting used to his dorm room and was locked out of it until 12 am because of a problem with his keycard and password. On top of that, he had to wake up extra early to get his ID and security codes, and soon after had a meeting to overview his salary.</p><p>	So saying he was exhausted on the tram ride to Sector C was a bit of an understatement.</p><p>BARNEY: Mornin’ Mr. Freeman. Have a rough night?</p><p>Gordon hadn’t even realized the guard had gotten onto the tram until he’d spoken. Gordon was sitting in the same seat as the day before. Knees together, Black Mesa standard issue briefcase on his lap, and staring dead ahead- not with concentration this time, but rather with mind-numbing exhaustion. </p><p>BARNEY: Man, First Week’s always hell, I know that for sure. At least the science team doesn’t have any hazing.</p><p>GORDON: [Man, I have to get my locker and key today, and get started right away or else I’ll just start keeping the team behind. Wait, is someone talking? Who’s- OH FUCK THERE’S A GUY ON THIS TRAIN?]</p><p>BARNEY: The Security Team has some CRAZY hazing, and I mean CRAZY. They took all my clothes and put in them in the tram, and I had to run out practically butt naked to get them! That’s normal though, and you see a lot during hiring season. Man, the things they did to me-</p><p>GORDON: [who the fuck is this? Some sort of … guard or something? Wait, didn’t I see him yesterday too? God, all these guards look the same. Do I have my lighter?]</p><p>BARNEY: - and SHE got me into some sorta book club or something, but I was the ONLY GUY! Gosh, how the guys picked at me for that one. I wanted to keep going, you know, for her, but man, all the gals could finish the books in two weeks and I, well, I take a little longer and- Well Mr. Freeman, you got me talking about me again! Conceited Calhoun, I am! So, how’s your morning if you don’t mind me asking?</p><p>Gordon had stopped paying attention a while ago and just blankly nodded.</p><p>BARNEY: Jeez Doc I didn’t realize it was that bad! I’ll get your something from the break room while I’m on my rounds, okay?</p><p>GORDON: [My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard</p><p>And they're like, it's better than yours-Wait is he talking to me?]</p><p>[Wednesday, November 7th, 200X, 8:10, An. Mat. Lab 4] </p><p>Gordon had just gotten settled into the anomalous materials laboratories. He finally got his locker and had even gotten scheduled in for his Hazardous Environments Suit training in a week. Gordon was assisting Dr. Simon Backman in the research in lab 4. Dr. Backman hadn’t come in yet, but Gordon had been instructed by his old professor to just start getting familiar with the lab as well as the computer interface, as it could be a little bit difficult.</p><p>GORDON: [Great. First, they keep me up all night and then they want me to ‘familiarize myself?’ with the ‘work environment’ and ‘computers’? Like fuck, I can barely familiarize myself with my own two hands.]</p><p>BARNEY: Dr. Freeman?</p><p>Gordon was startled awake from the hypnotizingly dull computer screen to see a guard holding a coffee… can? Of some sort? And looking around to the other scientists at their lab desks who paid him no mind.</p><p>GORDON: [JESUS. oh god, what now? did they find my stash?]</p><p>BARNEY: Here’s a coffee from a… secret admirer.</p><p>GORDON: [ secret what now? Wait, is this that guy from before?]</p><p>Barney set the can down on his desk and leaned down a little, staring to whisper at Gordon.</p><p>BARNEY: ((there is no secret admirer Dr. Freeman, it was me. Here’s the coffee I promised. It says on the can to warm it up, but it tastes better cold, I promise.))</p><p>GORDON: [uh, okay dipshit, get out of my face before I light you on fire. I’ll fucking do it, i swear.] okay.</p><p>BARNEY: ((alright, take care Dr. Freeman)) Sorry Doctor, I’ll never say who it is, Scout’s honor. Bye Dr. Freeman!</p><p>The Guard gave a short salute and turned on his heels, leaving the lab.</p><p>GORDON: [why would he think that I would have a secret admirer. I’ve been here for two fucking days??]</p><p>[Thursday, November 8th, 200X, Lab 4]</p><p>Gordon sat at an empty desk to proofread data from the latest experiment. Dr. Backman is chatting away with some coworkers about Gordon, when he looks back to see Gordon handing him a stack of papers. On them are written several corrections in red ink. Gordon has already begun to work on the final copy. Gordon has not said a word. </p><p>Dr. Backman’s face turns red, looking over at Gordon. Gordon nodded at him and walked back to the desk he had been working at.</p><p>There were so many obvious corrections, and his coworkers standing nearby must have seen the papers as well. Dr. Backman looks infuriated at being embarrassed like this in front of his coworkers, and walks over to Gordon’s side of the table. Dr. Backman grabs his coffee mug and tips it over, spilling all the coffee onto the floor before nicely setting it down.</p><p>BACKMAN: oh, woops! Looks like I spilt my coffee.</p><p>A malicious, passive-aggressive smile creeps up on Dr. Backman’s face.</p><p>BACKMAN: Would you be a good assistant and go get something to clean that up? I’ll finish these corrections for you, no need to worry Mr. Freeman.</p><p>The snide remark does not seem to affect Gordon. He simply looks at the coffee, nods, and leaves to go get paper towels from the dining area, his face expressionless as he walks down the hallway.</p><p>GORDON: [I swear to fucking god I worked HARD for that doctorate I will be called DOCTOR, not MISTER, who the FUCK does he think he is, anyways? Sure, I’m new, but you can't hate me just because I’m better at your job that YOU are.]</p><p>Gordon looks in some cabinets under the sink for some paper towels, and maybe some cleaner.</p><p>BARNEY: Whatcha looking for Dr. Freeman?</p><p>Gordon hits his head on the top of the cabinet</p><p>GORDON: [DON’T fucking SNEAK UP on a guy like that, JESUS.] </p><p>BARNEY: Paper Towels are in the bottom cabinet over there, but what are you doing looking for paper towels?</p><p>Barney goes and grabs the paper towels as Gordons stands up and rubs the top of his head.</p><p>GORDON: [DR.DICKMAN was being a TOTAL DIPSHIT who thinks I went to MIT to study COFFEE STAINS AND THEIR REMOVAL.] Dr. Backman spilt some coffee.</p><p>Barney stopped right before handing the paper towels to Gordon, a confused (but mostly annoyed) look on his face.</p><p>BARNEY: Well that’s odd, it’s usually one of us Guards who does maintenance and small clean up, so why would he ask you?</p><p>GORDON: [Wait who is this guy again? Calhouse? Colhoun? Cal…something.]</p><p>Gordon just shrugged. Barney’s eyebrows knit together as he comes to an unpleasant realization</p><p>BARNEY: Oh, that Dr. Backman has always been one unpleasant son of a gun. It’s not your job to clean this up, it’s mine! Your job is to do physics and prove aliens are real. Here, I’ll go clean this up.</p><p>Barney strides past Gordon, headed towards Lab 4.</p><p>GORDON: [WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING?] It’s okay, really.</p><p>BARNEY: Oh no it’s NOT! I know what it’s like to have people beat down on you cuz you’re new, and I won’t let you go through that!</p><p>GORDON: [...huh. I mean, it’s a stupid move. Evoking the wrath of a Senior researcher will probably get suspended or maybe even fired, but hey. I’m not gonna stop him.]</p><p>Barney walks into Lab 4, paper towels in one hand, the other hand balled up in a fist. Gordon stood almost timidly behind him.</p><p>GORDON: [Jesus, is he going to punch him?]</p><p>BACKMAN: Officer Calhoun? What’s the meaning of this?</p><p>Barney’s demeanor changes immediately. His hand relaxes, and he puts on his cheesiest smile.]</p><p>BARNEY: oh, nothing Dr. Backman. I just found Dr. Freeman trying to clean a spill and knowing that he has more important work to be doing, I’ll be cleaning it up for him.</p><p>BACKMAN: Is that so...Dr. Freeman?</p><p>Dr. Backman leans to one side, looking directly at Gordon, before Barney leans to the same side, blocking his line of sight.</p><p>BARNEY: It is, Doctor! Now, I better let you get back to your very important work, I’ve got coffee to clean.</p><p>Dr. Backman scoffs before turning around to go to his own desk. Gordon let out a sigh.</p><p>GORDON: [God, I thought he was going to fucking obliterate this Calhoun guy then kill me. I could have sworn I was about to watch Dr. Backman tear him to shreds.]</p><p>Barney also lets out a sigh as he turns to Gordon.</p><p>BARNEY: Jesus, I thought he really had you for a second! Anyways, I have to get back to my post, so I’ll clean this up. And Dr. Freeman? If anyone gives you any trouble, you tell me, and I’ll make sure they know what’s what! Nobody picks on new guys on my watch!</p><p>Barney smiles and gives Gordon a thumbs up and walks over to the side of Gordon’s lab desk to clean up the coffee. Gordon walks over to his desk and sits down and starts to finish what he had been doing before, but glances over at Barney, who’s on his hands and knees cleaning the spill, facing away from him. Gordon insists it’s only for a second, but he’s definitely staring.</p><p>GORDON: [God damn. He’s….that’s….yup. Didn’t even know guys could have that much- wait wAIT I’m STARING]</p><p>Barney stands up and walks past Gordon to throw away the paper towels. Gordon almost gets whiplash trying to act like he wasn’t staring the whole time. Barney gives Gordon a little two-finger salute before heading to his post. Gordon returns the gesture with a short nod.</p><p>GORDON: [God, this is a terrible first week.]</p><p>[Thursday, November 8th, 200X, Kleiner’s Office] DC</p><p>Gordon entered Dr. Kleiner’s office after his lunch break, like the memo he had gotten indicated. Kleiner’s office had few things, but the main thing that drew the eye was a small shelf that was adorned with pictures of friends, family, and even MIT school events and certificates. There was even a “Hang IN There!” kitten poster on the leftmost wall. </p><p>KLEINER: Come in, Come in! So, Gordon, how are you settling in?</p><p>GORDON: [everyone thinks I’m some fresh out of college dumbass kid who doesn’t even know Euler's formula. I am <em>this</em> close to leaving my rotting lunch in the vents just to put the whole place on lockdown for a week.] I’ve been adjusting fine, Professor Kleiner. It’s quite different from Innsbruck, I’ve found.</p><p>KLEINER: Is it that bad?</p><p>GORDON: [ YES.] No.</p><p>KLEINER: Gordon, I know that these people can sometimes, pardon my French, <em>suck a lot of ass,</em> but that’s just how it is here in Sector C. It’s a dog eat dog world. They can’t see it because you’re quite a young man! Even I, who joined at a later age than you, still had trouble rising through the ranks! Listen, once you get to know the Anomalous Materials Team a little better, they’ll see your brilliance. I just know it. </p><p>GORDON: [ You’re goddamn right I’m brilliant, so why can’t those fuckers see it?] Thank you Professor Kleiner, I know I’ll get along fine.</p><p>Kleiner smiled at Gordon, his hands folded on his desk. He wasn’t an old man. He was somewhere in his early 50s. But the glasses he had on really added to his age. They were different from the glasses he had on when he was still Gordon’s professor, so it seemed he had fully accepted the Old Man look. The eyes behind them were still the same- mischievous, but full of hope. This was an old man you <em>know</em> would put a fake 50 on fishing wire and prank people at the park.</p><p>KLEINER: Well, I’ll see you at lunch then, Gordon. I’ve got some spreadsheets to check.</p><p>Gordon turned to leave the room.</p><p>KLEINER: oh, and Gordon?</p><p>Gordon stopped and turned around, looking over his shoulder.</p><p>KLEINER: Backman keeps his keys in the third bottom most drawer of his desk.</p><p>[Friday, November 8th, 200X, Anomalous Materials Lobby]</p><p>The week was finally over. Gordon loved the work he was doing- he was making advances and gaining understanding unprecedented- But by god was he ready to clock out. Gordon was using his not so secret skill of hyper focusing on his goal, which was avoiding everyone like the plague and making B-Line for the sign out sheet. He almost made it to the secure hydraulic-locked door, and even got the okay from the guard that was going to unlock it.</p><p>BARNEY: Hey, Dr. Freeman! Clocking out?</p><p>GORDON: [this guy? Again??seriously???] Yes.</p><p>BARNEY: I am too! Well, I've got a couple things to do before I go, but I wanted to ask if you had any plans for tonight?</p><p>GORDON: [OH GOD DOES HE KNOW I'M- HOW DOES- IS HE ASKING ME-] I do not, why do you ask?</p><p>BARNEY: well, it's your first week and I thought you might want to hang out with the guys and I outside after work. You know, drink a couple beers, shoot the shit, get to know the guys. Well, shoot the shit as much as we can in the lounge.</p><p>GORDON: [ goddddddddd I really just want to crash for the weekend, maybe do some light reading and get wasted.] I’m not sure.</p><p>	If a grown man could make puppy dog eyes, this is probably what that would look like. Barney looked like he was begging for his life but in a really annoying way. Gordon resisted the urge not to roll his eyes and groan.</p><p>BARNEY: oh come on Gordon! I promise, you can leave if you don't have fun, but that won't happen anyway, so no need to worry</p><p>GORDON: [Fuuuck. you make me wish I was dead.] Okay, I'll come.</p><p>BARNEY: Excellent! I'll drop by your dorm around say...7 ish?</p><p>GORDON: [just enough time to get drunk before i even show up.] Okay</p><p>BARNEY: See you there, Dr. Freeman.</p><p>Dr. Backman walked into the lobby shouting. He looks pissed beyond belief.</p><p>BACKMAN: WHERE ARE MY KEYS? WHO TOOK MY KEYS?</p><p>GORDON: [THAT’S MY CUE] Goodbye Mr. Calhoun.</p><p>BARNEY: Bye Gordon!</p><p>	Before Barney could even finish saying Goodbye, Gordon had already practically sprinted through the secure sector door.</p><p>
  <strong>[Friday, November 8th, 200X, around 5 pm, Level 3 Dormitories, Room 309.]</strong>
</p><p> Gordon got to his room and closed the door behind him before he practically ripped off his tie and shoes and fell onto his bed. He was sure his neighbors could hear his groans, and they sure as hell weren’t “awesome high-five worthy getting laid” groans. They were “why me, good lord, kill me now” groans.</p><p>GORDON: [Why do i have to be so nice?]</p><p>Gordon reached into the drawer of his nightstand and took out a Transformer Figure.</p><p>GORDON:[Oh Bumblebee, we're really in it now, huh? Son of a bitch! I'll go this <em>one</em> time, but I WILL be saying no next time, that Calhoun guy won’t be dragging me into anymore-]</p><p>The phone started ringing. Gordon contemplated letting it ring before realizing that it was a secure and private line and whoever was calling was probably someone important.</p><p>GORDON: Hello?</p><p>JOHN: Bro!! How is the new place? Fancy and government?</p><p>GORDON: Oh, John, it’s you. It’s fine, I'm doing a lot of really rewarding work. How did you get this number?</p><p>JOHN: BRO I have been trying to call u ALL DAY! But the secretary or something kept saying no and that u were busy or somethin, but they FINALLY let me get through.</p><p>GORDON: [ I meant more along the lines of how you even got the Black Mesa internal number, but anyways] It’s good to hear from you, John. How’s Henry? And your wife?</p><p>JOHN: OH Henry is SO BIG now bro I will send you a picture so you can see!! And my wife is good, taking care of Henry with me!</p><p>GORDON: That’s nice John.</p><p>COM: {GORDON. FREEMAN. YOU. HAVE. ONE. MINUTE. LEFT. ON. EXTERNAL. CALL.}</p><p>GORDON: Oh, I didn’t know these were timed. I look forward to the pictures. Please tell the missus I said Hello.</p><p>JOHN: BYEE GORDON! TAKE CARE! I WILL BE SEND PICTURE SOON! I WILL CALL SOON!</p><p>The phone clicked off, and Gordon wasn’t sure if it was John’s abrupt nature of it the time had simply run out. Before he could even process the fact that his brother managed to get access to an internal Black Mesa landline, a knocking came from the door.</p><p>GORDON: [speaking of running out of time… wait, it’s like, 4 pm? Why is he here this early…?]</p><p>Gordon opens the door slowly, praying to whatever god has not abandoned him yet that it wasn’t the guard. He was almost a bit surprised to see… a mailman? A pale, tall, exhausted looking mailman with the freakiest looking green eyes he’d ever seen stood with a clipboard and a briefcase.</p><p>MAILMAN: Package…. for Mr. Gordon ...Freeman, Room 30...9?</p><p>Gordon glanced at the wall left of his door, where it’s clearly marked ‘Freeman’ and ‘309’</p><p>GORDON: [what the fuck?] Yes that’s me, but I didn't-</p><p>The mailman handed him the clipboard and pointed to several spots before Gordon could finish.</p><p>MAILMAN: sign here.. and …..here, and initial ..here and here. Thank you, Mr. Freeman, have a nice... day.</p><p>Before Gordon could ask what the hell was going on (not that he would phrase it like that, but still,) he shoved a box into his hands. It wasn’t as heavy as he imagined.</p><p>GORDON: [Where did he even get this from? oh my god, what if this is a bomb? Wait, Black Mesa has mailmen? Black mesa has MAIL?]</p><p>He looked down the hallway for the mailman only to find there was no one else there.</p><p>GORDON: [ what the fuuuuuuck. What. the fuck. Well. if this is a bomb, only one way to find out. Hey! It says it’s from Kleiner! Either they used his name to trick me or HE sent me a bomb….nah, he wouldn’t send a bomb, he knows I’m too smart for that. Well, if it is a bomb, only one way to find out!]</p><p>Gordon turns around and walks back into his room and locks the door. This situation was cartoonishly weird enough already, so maybe this weird bomb would abide by cartoon logic and only explode his room. Hey, maybe it wouldn’t even kill him! Maybe it would only blow smoke in his face and leave his hair standing up.</p><p>Almost a little disappointed, it was not a cartoon stick of dynamite. It seemed to be something familiar...</p><p>The note on the inside read “Gordon- Welcome to the team! Dr. Kleiner has told me a lot about you. Sorry I could not be there to greet you myself this week- I’m at a conference right now, but I hope you get on well. Just know that my office is always open (well, except when I’m not there!) - Eli Vance” on the back of the card had a note written in a different, more familiar handwriting. “Gordon, I managed to slip a little something in their for you- Professor”</p><p>GORDON: [A care package? Well, If it is a bomb, they know how to get to me. And if it is a care package, well do I really deserve it?... yes, I absolutely do... Let’s see here...hm… Black Mesa sweatshirt...nice...some instant coffee...okay this isn’t that- does this shirt say “I work at Black Mesa and all i got was this T-Shirt” ? well, i needed some new PJs anyways... oh sweet, Snacks! Fuck yeah…Nice soap, some socks, and- wait. What the fuck is this?]</p><p>Gordon pulled out a small, plastic bag with a white, almost clear, grainy substance inside.</p><p>GORDON: [Oh my God, Is this METH? DID THE PROFESSOR GIVE ME METH? God, I can’t deal with this right now, I’ll just ask him later. But what if he’s running a meth lab? Is this Dr. Vance guy in on it too? Is this some large-scale operation I wasn’t supposed to know about? Jesus, I better get rid of this… later. Maybe I’ll find some use for it.]</p><p>Gordon took out the clothes out of the box and left the rest of the goodies inside. He put the little baggie under the sink of the kitchenette and tried not to think about it. </p><p>The rest of the time is spent either finishing setting up his belongings or getting ready, which didn’t take long. He didn’t want to look like a total geed, so he went with his “cool, but not cool so much that it looks like I’m trying, but you can tell I look cool” outfit, which to him, was his jeans, band shirt and flannel. He didn’t want to <em>impress</em> these guys, whoever they were. They were guards who probably played darts and talked about...guard things. Like hating their wives and having guns at work. T Gordon just wanted to let them know he was obviously too cool for them, so they’d tell the Calhoun guy never to invite him again.</p><p>So, looking good and with nowhere to go (yet), Gordon did what he often had to while he had nothing to do and no way to show he was smarter than everyone else: listen to music. </p><p>So, he got out his headphones and Discman, and laid down on his bed for Hit Tunes of 05’: Summer Edition. Maybe he would just not answer the door and use that as an excuse to not go…
</p><p>He closed his eyes and drifted off, unsure if he was asleep or awake.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gordon is... One hell of a guy, to say the least.<br/>Long story short, Gordon thinks like Freeman's Mind and talks like the most polite young man you've ever met.<br/>having structure is for losers we die like men.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Week 1: Everybody Loves Freeman, Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gordon gets fucked up</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey. thanks.</p><p>Legend<br/>Character: this is just talking<br/>Character: [this means they're thinking]<br/>Character: ((this means they're whispering))<br/>Character: { this means they're speaking ASL }</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Friday, November 8th, 200X, around 7:15 pm, Level 3 Dormitories, Room 309]</p><p> </p><p>The knocking from his front door made Gordon bolt upright. Before realizing who he was supposed to be expecting, he quickly opened the door. There stood Barney, wearing some older looking jeans and a t blue shirt that said “Edmondville High School – Go Outlaws!”. Did this guy even go to University or does he just think wearing his high school shirts is still cool? (was it ever cool, though?)</p><p>BARNEY: Gordon! Or should I call you Freeman? Or… Doctor? Nah, we’re not that formal right now. Are ya ready to head out? I hear The Shed is going to pr-ee-ty wild tonight.</p><p>Gordon rubbed his eyes and blinked a bit before it all came back to him. The call from John, the weird package…and his half-thought out plan to just fall asleep and not answer the door. Too late for that now. Gordon gave Barney a gesture to come in and to wait one moment, simply too tired for words. His brain had already gone into isolation mode, and he didn’t want to talk. Maybe he could just let the guy talk and he wouldn’t notice that Gordon wasn’t responding.</p><p>BARNEY: Whoa, Nice place you got here! You don’t even have bunkmates! Your own bathroom!? A KITCHEN??? This is off the wall!</p><p>Gordon shrugged as he walked into the bathroom and washed his face. He tried to make his hair look somewhat presentable, but his already odd hairstyle made that a bit difficult.</p><p>GORDON: [Stupid mullet, it’s not my fault I got gum stuck in my bangs.]<br/>
BARNEY: Whoa! Is this an Action Figure?</p><p>Gordon felt his stomach sink to the bottom and every bone in his body start to freeze up.</p><p>GORDON: [i…I fucking forgot to put Bumblebee away. This is it. He’ll laugh and he’ll know me as the “action figure guy” for the rest of my (soon to be short) life and he’ll tell his friends and then everyone in the lab is going to find out and I’ll lose my job and-]<br/>
BARNEY: Gordon?</p><p>Gordon looked at his own panicked face in the mirror. As Barney looked in. Gordon was mentally preparing himself for whatever the Guard had to say.</p><p>BARNEY: It’s pretty cool, I mean, I don’t know much about robots, but I’ve got a He-Man one in my drawer in the barracks! I wish I could take it out, but the guys... the guys like to pick on me a bit. It’s okay though, it’s not that bad.<br/>
GORDON: […what? He…] </p><p>Gordon turned slightly to Barney and made gestures with his hands.</p><p>GORDON: {you have one too?}</p><p>Barney blinked for a second, looking a bit surprised.</p><p>BARNEY: I…I’m sorry Gordon, I don’t know what that means.<br/>
GORDON: [why am I so dumb. Fuck. He’ll think I’m throwing gang signs or something.] sorry. Let’s get going.<br/>
BARNEY: … Sure.</p><p>The walk down the hall to the Tram was a bit awkward, until Barney greeted two women around their age getting off the west bound tram. One was a little shorter than Barney, with her dark brown hair in a high ponytail with bangs, tied by a black ribbon, and a dark blue dress with a white belt around the waist. He looked like the girl Barbie was based off of. Not really Gordon’s type. The other one, which Gordon paid much more attention to, was tall, about Gordon’s height, with fiery ginger hair and piercing blue eyes, wearing a green blouse and a knee length black skirt. She had her hair tied back in a bun held by what looked to be a pen, and a no-nonsense look on her face. She just looked like she drove a motorcycle and drank hard liquor.</p><p>GORDON: [THERE’S CUTE GIRLS AT BLACK MESA?]<br/>
BARNEY: Hiya Gina! And uh, Hey Lauren! Where are you gals headed?<br/>
LAUREN: Hey Barney-Boy! Gina and I are going to the Caf for our Book Club. We’re reading One Hundred Years of Solitude; I highly recommend it. Who’s your friend?</p><p>So, Lauren was the shorter one, and by Gordon’s observation, Barney definitely had his eye on her. Gordon wasn’t the best with people, but even he could see how his demeanor changed when talking to her. Better for him, he had his eye on Gina anyways.</p><p>BARNEY: OH! This is Gordon Freeman, he also works in An Mat! It’s his first week, so I’m takin him out to a boy’s night.</p><p>Barney put one hand on Gordon’s shoulder and shook him a bit. Gordon smiled a bit and waved while trying not to look straight-faced. At least Gina made it look like a bad-girl kick ass look. Gordon was sure his expressionless face made him look like a freak.</p><p>LAUREN: That’s lovely Barn! I wish we’d have more new girls. We could do with some new book club members. You still have yet to come though, Barn!</p><p>Gina extended her hand to Gordon while Barney and Lauren spoke. Gordon took it and shook it firmly. </p><p>GORDON: [Did girls think that was cool? They did say a firm handshake was the best first introduction… maybe they only meant on formal occasions. Is this a formal occasion…?]<br/>
GINA: Nice to meet you Gordon, I’m Gina. I’m looking forward to seeing you around the labs more often.</p><p>Gordon just nodded. His face was neutral, trying to look pleased</p><p>GORDON: [AHHHHHHHHHH SHE’S IN ANOMALOUS MATERIALS?? SHE’S SMART, TOO?? FUCK]</p><p>BARNEY: Ah Well, you know me Laurie, I’m not too good at the whole ‘books’ thing… but uh, hey, are you, uh, Busy this weekend?<br/>
LAUREN: I am, actually! Sorry! I’m heading out of the facility tomorrow to pick up some things for Dr. Breen, so I’ll be gone all week. </p><p>Gina showed her watch to Lauren.</p><p>LAUREN: Oh! We’re going to be late! Sorry Barn, I’ll talk to you later. Nice to meet you Gordon! Bye!</p><p>And with that, Gina gave a salute goodbye (extremely cool) and started to walk, and Lauren turned around and waved (not as cool) goodbye as she followed behind Gina. As soon as they were out of earshot and Gordon and Barney were up to the edge of the Tram Barney smacked his face with the palm of his hand.</p><p>BARNEY: GAH I really blew it. If I had asked her sooner, maybe I would finally have had a chance to go out with her!</p><p>Gordon flicked his wrist downwards, scoffed and shrugged.</p><p>GORDON: [at least you said something, I couldn’t even get a word out.]<br/>
BARNEY: I Know, I KNOW! It just seems like I never have the right timing with her. I never had trouble with any other girls! I know it’s probably obvious from my charm and general good looks, but I had quite the number of suitors in my hometown!</p><p>Gordon looked away for a moment, using this time to check if the tram was coming. He wasn’t laughing, he swears.</p><p>BARNEY: Don’t roll your eyes at me! It’s TRUE!</p><p>Gordon just shrugged as the west bound tram finally came in.</p><p>The rest of the short trip to The Shed was spent mainly with Barney ranting about his so-called “woman troubles” and eventually just talking about some alleged “tram horror stories” he had from himself and the guards. These included sightings of alleged aliens, tram-sick scientists and even one guy who got stuck on a broken-down tram over a chasm for an entire day.<br/>
Gordon’s plan of “Let the guy talk and hope he didn’t notice he wasn’t responding” mostly worked… but the only hitch was that he was actually somewhat paying attention. He still didn’t respond, at least not verbally, but he didn’t need to. Barney seemed to just… understand what Gordon was getting out with his looks and gestures, which was quite a relief. He got a break from talking, Barney got to talk as much as he wanted, and Gordon felt (somewhat) ready to socialize with total strangers he didn’t want to be around.</p><p>[ Friday, November 8th, 200X, around 7:30 pm, Surface Sector 5, outside “The Shed”]</p><p>Gordon wouldn’t admit it, but he was thanking a non-existent God that he didn’t slip and fall down the extremely shaky ladder they had to take to get to the tunnel to this place called “The Shed”. Gordon didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t a straight up fenced-off cliffside alcove with an outside seating area and some light lanterns strewn above, connecting from the cliff walls to, you guessed it, a shed. It was on the larger side, but it was made of old wood with a tin roof. It was certainly a shed alright. Some people sat at the tables and joked, beer in their hands and smiles on their faces. There was laughter in the air, and for the first time all week, it seemed to Gordon there was finally somewhere in Black Mesa that wasn’t a concrete cage devoid of joy.</p><p>BARNEY: Welcome to The Shed! It used to be an old guard’s post, but it was decommissioned a long time ago. It’s gotten a nice makeover since then! Look at all these fancy lights, plus, the Shed got a new roof! I heard the whole story, but you HAVE to ask Otis about it, he tells it the best. I think he’s in the Shed, I mean, he usually is.<br/>
GORDON: …Looks more like a shack to me.</p><p>Barney burst out laughing like it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard and slapped Gordon on the back, almost knocking him over.</p><p>BARNEY: Jeez Louise Gordon! Come on, let’s head in.</p><p>[ Friday, November 8th, 200X, around 7:30 pm, Surface Sector 5, “The Shed”]</p><p>Inside The Shed looked as you’d expect. It was rustic, which was a given, with what looked to be a makeshift bar made out of old office desks, as well as a dartboard with a picture of Dr. Breen on it (though there seemed to be other pictures on a table nearby, so it seemed they were changing it up between rounds),  a pool table, and two tables. Among others in The Shed playing darts, at the “bar” sat a large man with dark mustache and a receding hairline of the same color. Behind the “bar”, talking to the large man and cleaning a glass in that cliché bartender fashion was an older looking black man with greying hair on the side. The man bartending noticed Barney come in and waved him over.</p><p>PEPPER: Barney! Who’s the guy with you?</p><p>The large man and a few of the people watching the game of Darts turned around. Gordon felt the eyes burning into him.<br/>
GORDON: [They can tell I’m part of the science team, but maybe if I don’t say anything, they won’t-]<br/>
BARNEY: Dr. Pepper! This is Gordon, He’s new! Straight of the An Mat press!<br/>
GORDON: [Ooookay. Too late for going under the radar, now- wait did he say Dr. Pepper?]</p><p>Barney walked over to the makeshift bar and sat down beside the large man. Gordon followed and stood a little behind Barney, just to the left of him.</p><p>BARNEY: Otis! Meet Gordon!</p><p>Otis smiled at Gordon and cheered his beer at him.</p><p>OTIS: Come on son, take a seat! There’s room for everyone.<br/>
BARNEY: OH, Otis! You have to tell him the story of the new roof! I know it by heart, but you tell it way better!<br/>
OTIS: talking me up, huh? Well, I’ll tell it again, but buy your man a drink, Calhoun! It’s rude to leave a date high and dry!<br/>
BARNEY: oh, right, sorry! What’ll it be Gordon? </p><p>Barney turned around to look at Gordon who, up until that point, was more worried about the scary looking guy side eyeing him from across the room. Gordon came-to when he realized Barney had asked him something, and kind of shrugged at him.</p><p>BARNEY: hmm…Dr. Pepper, what do you recommend?<br/>
GORDON: [That can’t be his real name. There is no living human being named Dr. Pepper.]</p><p>Barney looked at the alleged Dr. Pepper who was putting away a glass and began to look into a crate he pulled up from under the desk.</p><p>PEPPER: Well… we’ve got some choice beers… Corona, Bud light… but you don’t look like a beer guy, wait, give a second-<br/>
BARNEY: Watch this Gordon, Dr. Pepper has this freaky power where he reads you and makes a drink tailored to you specifically!<br/>
GORDON: Doctor…  Pepper?</p><p>Dr. Pepper was looking through another crate and looked up at Gordon as he spoke.</p><p>PEPPER: Yup! Dr. Darnold Pepper. I work in the Chemistry Labs, and I’m the resident mixologist. And yes, I’m a doctor, I got my PhD in Biochemistry at Harvard. And you know what, I know just the thing. Otis, please continue, I’ll go ahead and make it.<br/>
OTIS: okay, so, before I start, you have to know, the old roof was made of these wooden panels, same as the rest of The Shed. Now, we don’t get a lot of rain here in the desert, but the weather had gotten quite humid in the past few days, so the wood had started to rot. And when wood rots, it attracts bugs and when you get bugs, you get spiders.<br/>
PEPPER: Sorry to interrupt, but Gordon, here’s your drink.</p><p>Dr. Pepper slid Gordon a tall glass with what looked to be whiskey in it, but had a distinctive smell of…cinnamon?</p><p>PEPPER: I know it smells odd, but I think you’ll like it.</p><p>And he was right. Gordon liked it. He really, really did. He took a small sip first before larger, thirstier gulps followed.</p><p>BARNEY: Jesus Gordon, you really liked it!</p><p>Gordon nodded and pointed to it, making a questioning look on his face. Dr. Pepper wasn’t quite sure how to respond before Barney stepped in.</p><p>BARNEY: What’s in it, Doc?<br/>
PEPPER: Oh, it’s an-an apple cinnamon cider screwdriver. You struck me like a flat and strong guy on the outside, like the vodka, and a sweet but fiery guy on the inside, like the cinnamon. And there’s something about you… the-the apple. I’m not sure how to describe it, but I think it was the right choice.</p><p>Gordon would have been offended if the drink hadn’t been so good. Dr. Pepper handed Barney a beer, and Barney toasted him before taking a sip.</p><p>BARNEY: Di'ja hear that Gordon?! Sweet AND Fiery, what a guy!<br/>
GORDON: [I understand strong and fiery, but what the FUCK did he mean by flat?]</p><p>Gordon let his shoulders relax a bit. He looked over at Otis who took this as a sign to continue his story.</p><p>GORDON: [Okay, this isn’t THAT bad… I could do without the general smell of this place, but it’s fine, I GUESS.]<br/>
OTIS: Oh! Yes! The spiders! I don’t know if you’ve seen them, but desert spiders can get to the size of, well, a small bird. Like, a big small bird. Some can even eat smaller birds, I seen it with my own two eyes, dontcha know. Now, when you get spiders that big, you have to use a special spray to keep em’ out and kill the bugs they’re after, but little did we know, that spray attracted rats who just LOVED the stuff, and I don’t know if you’ve seen them, but desert rats are more than just your run of the mill city rat, no, they’re huge, about the size of a large spider, which is the size of a small bird, but like, a large small bird. So, they’re big mean, these desert rats, and they had started eating through the wood, if you would believe. I hardly believed it an’ I saw it with my own two eyes! Now-</p><p>Gordon had finished his drink and he looked at his empty glass for a second before Barney ordered another one for him.</p><p>GORDON: [Is he trying to get me wasted? Gah, what do I care, this is good!]<br/>
OTIS: -and then the Rats fell out of the roof and had a fight with the snakes on the ground! Now, we managed to kill most of em, but the problem was, O'Riley had his service pistol on him, since he just dropped by on his break, and if you know the good O'Riley, you’ll know the man would rather file discharged weapon paperwork for weeks rather than set FOOT near a snake. So, the man, out of fear, blindly shot the floor AND the ceiling, and those final bullets brought the whole thing down.<br/>
GORDON: …really? [ REALLY?]<br/>
OTIS: Yes, Really! So now the shed had no roof, a rat AND snake problem, PLUS O’Riley had a whole night’s worth of gun discharge papers AND a lot of explaining to do. Now, I don’t wanna seem like the hero of the story, I think I’m quite a modest man, but I have quite the connections when it comes to material supplies.<br/>
PEPPER: Real modest there, Otis.<br/>
OTIS: I’m just being honest! I know a lot of the guys in construction, even helped a few get jobs here! Now, You’re probably thinking it ends with a new roof from the extra construction materials. Happily ever after, The End, everyone goes home to kiss their wife. WRONG!</p><p>Otis slammed his bear on the table as he raised his voice for emphasis.</p><p>OTIS: I went to one of the guys, the construction worker, and this is what he told me, he said “Sorry Otis, we can’t get you some spare tin, all of our material is accounted for.”<br/>
GORDON: [wait, do I have to pay for this drink? It’s really good, and I probably shouldn’t get wasted off this, it smells expensive. This Pepper guy seems like a sneaky bastard who would charge me extra because I’m new. Well sorry Mr. Soda Named Man, I’m not gullible! Or wait…  is Barney gonna pay? I mean, he seems like the kind of ‘southern gentleman’ type, so maybe he’ll offer, plus, he DID invite me.]<br/>
OTIS: And you know me, well, Barney and Pepper know me, an’ they’d tell you I don’t give up easy. So, I was thinking, as a modest man usually does, for a way to get the material I needed, when-</p><p>Barney used the back of his hand to tap Gordon on the side to make him pay attention.</p><p>BARNEY: ooh Gordon this is the best bit!<br/>
OTIS: -When Barney here came into the break room and asked me what was wrong, in his usual Barney fashion.<br/>
BARNEY: See, Gordon, I’m kinda known for asking what’s wrong. I got that ‘sixth sense’ for knowing when someone’s got something on their mind.<br/>
GORDON: [or you have eyes, a basic understanding of body language and a little bit of You Care Too Much sprinkled in.]<br/>
OTIS: So, Barney asks me, what’s wrong? sand I tell him, “Calhoun, the roof of The Shed caved in and-<br/>
GUARD: Hey, you.</p><p>Gordon felt a hand on his left shoulder. He turned from Barney and Otis and saw it was one of the guards that had been playing darts.</p><p>GUARD: You part of the science folk?<br/>
GORDON: [he looks like a guard, he KNOWS they’re called the science TEAM, why would he say science FOLK? Just to SEEM tough??] </p><p>Gordon nodded.</p><p>GUARD: Get out.<br/>
BARNEY: Hey now, we don’t need to be like that-<br/>
GUARD: Oh shut it Calhoun. We let you into our space, and you bring this-this-this science snitch here? We heard a’ him, he’s a little teacher’s pet, Calhoun. He’s going to snitch on us an’ get The Shed shut down for good.<br/>
BARNEY: He’s NOT a snitch, he’s cool!<br/>
GUARD: Get him out of here, he probably can’t even handle being here. He can’t even handle that wattle baby screwdriver. What’s it got, honey? Cinnamon? Aww, so cute.<br/>
BARNEY: He’s not even doing anything to you!</p><p>Otis stood up and got between Barney and the other man.</p><p>OTIS: Boys, Boys, come on, we’re all men, we don’t need to-<br/>
GORDON: I can handle it.<br/>
GUARD: Oh really? Not gonna let you Little Boyfriend Chinstrap Calhoun fight your battles?<br/>
BARNEY: Gordon’s not my-<br/>
GORDON: [OH, so you wanna go, HUH? You want a fight? You got one, pal.] I can handle anything. I know I can out-drink you.<br/>
GUARD: is that true? Fellas, you hear this guy?</p><p>The other guards laugh and murmur. Gordon and Barney get up to face the guy.</p><p>GUARD: Fine then, let’s have a friendly contest. If I win, you AND Calhoun can never come back. And I get pictures of you wasted to send to admin if you try and tell or come back here.<br/>
OTIS: And if he wins?<br/>
GORDON: YOU can never come back. And I get photos of you intoxicated as well.<br/>
BARNEY: okay wait this-<br/>
GUARD: Deal. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.<br/>
GORDON: [neither do you.]</p><p>Barney pulls Gordon to the side and whispers to him.</p><p>BARNEY: ((WHAT in god’s name are you doing Gordon?? You don’t even know this guy! He’s kind of insane!))<br/>
GORDON: [No One insults me and gets away with it. Well. They do, but I’m two drinks in and using this as an excuse, plus we’re kind of in an already lawless place, so I can be as fucked up and evil as I want.] It’s okay.<br/>
BARNEY: ((It’s really not, Gordon.))<br/>
GORDON: It is though.<br/>
BARNEY: ((Gordon you are going to get yourself KILLED. It won’t even matter if you or I get banned from this place because we’ll be AT YOUR FUNERAL. Just call it off!))<br/>
GUARD: Having doubts, science boy? Wha? What’s that I hear?</p><p>The guard started to flap his arms and made chicken noises. Gordon turned around to face the (now he can see, much larger) guard. His face was still neutral, as always, but now it had a twinge of something else, something mean.</p><p>GORDON: It’s on.</p><p>The guard lets Gordon “pick his poison” as a show of good faith. Gordon turned to Dr. Pepper and gave him a glaring look and a nod. The look on Dr. Pepper’s face was one of uncertainty and hesitancy as he looked over at Barney.</p><p>BARNEY: I think you know what’s good, Doc.<br/>
PEPPER: Are-are you sure?</p><p>	Barney glanced at Gordon before nodding.</p><p>BARNEY: Sure as I’ll ever be.</p><p>Dr. Pepper started nervously taking out shot glasses anyways.<br/>
There hadn’t been a drink-off in The Shed since before the new roof, so other people from outside heard the commotion and came in or watched from the door. There were a lot more people than Gordon expected, but it didn’t matter. This was between him, this guard, this 89% Vodka and whatever god this guard prayed to at night.<br/>
Dr. Pepper looked nervous as Gordon and the guard sat at the bar in front of 10 full shot glasses for each man. He held up his drying towel like a race flag and began to count down.</p><p>PEPPER: I want us to play fair, play safe, okay? We can’t-can’t have anyone dying on site, alright? on the count of three. One…<br/>
GUARD: Good Luck science boy, I’ll give my pardons to your parents at your funeral.<br/>
GORDON: My parents are dead. [PYSC HIM OUT WITH FACTS AND LOGIC]<br/>
GUARD: Uh. Okay.<br/>
PEPPER: Two…<br/>
BARNEY: Oh God, I can’t watch. Just tell me who won!<br/>
GORDON: [clear your head Gordon, no thoughts, just focus…]<br/>
OTIS: You have to watch, Calhoun!<br/>
PEPPER: Three!</p><p>Gordon and the guard downed the first shot just as Dr. Pepper waved his towel down on the last count. They were almost tied, but Gordon outpaced him quickly. Otis had started cheering, and the rest of the people had joined in. The crowd was made up of many different working-class men and women of black mesa- construction, janitorial and guards, among some. it seems they had split into teams: team Science Boy, and team Bullet Jack.</p><p>OTIS: GO SCIENCE BOY GO<br/>
BARNEY: BE CAREFUL GORDON!<br/>
GORDON: [they call this guy Bullet Jack? Wait, no, focus Gordon, focus. Grab it, down it, Repeat.]</p><p>“Bullet Jack” started to groan and lose his composure on shot 9, meanwhile, Dr. Pepper had started refilling Gordon’s empty glasses again, as he had already looped around and was on shot 11. Gordon pounded them back, focused on breathing between glasses and staying alive despite all the alcohol hitting his system at once. He’d lost count by that point, but the crowd that had gathered cheered and started to move. Gordon couldn’t see what was going on through his watery eyes.</p><p>BARNEY: Gordon, you won! You can stop! You Won!<br/>
OTIS: By God Gordon! You won!</p><p>Gordon felt his head swim as people patted him on the back and cheered. He could hear someone yell about vomit. And he felt like he was about to throw up himself. Invigorated by the social acceptance he secretly craved, he started to climb onto the bar and took the bottle straight out of Dr. Pepper’s hands. He started chugging it and the crowd went wild. They cheered and laughed, yelling ‘GO SCIENCE BOY GO” as he kept drinking and laughing with them.</p><p>BARNEY: OKAY GORDON, I THINK-<br/>
GORDON: FUCK YEAH! SCIENCE!</p><p>Gordon stepped a bit backwards trying to regain his balance as he cheered to the crowd beneath him and felt the ground beneath him disappear. He felt himself losing his grip on reality as he started to black out but felt the impact of his back to the pool table and the legs of the pool table buckle and break with the sudden impact of a whole guy suddenly on top of it. He thought he could hear Barney saying… something? He wasn’t sure, but that guy did have kind of a distinctive annoying voice. He could feel people trying to grab him, pulling his arms, but also pushing him back down and… lifting him up? he couldn’t think about it, his thoughts were swimming in his head like fish, and any time he tried to grab onto one, the light refraction of the water made him miscalculate where it was and it slipped out of his hands.. Was he dying? Maybe he broke his spine and he was dying, wasted, on a broken pool table. Maybe he’d have a nice funeral. He hoped it wouldn’t be boring. That was his last (almost comforting) thought as he blacked out.</p><p>[ Saturday, November 9th, 200X, around 1:30 pm, Level 3 Dormitories, Room 309]</p><p>The smell was what woke him up. Sweat mixed with alcohol and even a bit of vomit, his room smelt disgusting now- which made him realize he was in his room. His senses came back all at once- he had no windows, so the room was lit by a solitary lamp on his desk. Other than that, he couldn’t see anything since his glasses were gone. He felt sweaty and had a disgusting taste in his mouth, like he had vomited. Had he? He didn’t remember. He bolted up when he felt a cool wetness on the back of his head. The pounding headache hitting him hard as he bolted up.</p><p>GORDON: [Fuck, this sucks…did I piss myself? No wait, why would my piss be by my head? Wait, did someone ELSE piss my bed? Doesn’t smell like piss, but, FUCK, where are my glasses?]</p><p>He reached behind him onto his pillow and felt something cold and wet. He picked it up and brought the object to his face and saw a plastic ice pack (now mostly melted) wrapped in a paper towel. The scab on the back of his head he had just realized was there started to ache, so he put the ice pack back on it, giving him some temporary relief. Gordon felt the pounding headache increase as he reached over to his bedside drawer where he usually left his glasses and was surprised to find them. Beside where his glasses had been, there was a glass of water that now had condensation on it, and two Black Mesa Brand Tylenol.</p><p>GORDON: [if this ISN’T Tylenol and is in fact something else and someone put it there trying to kill me, they’re gonna win today. Damn I’m really quick to just accept people trying to kill me, huh? Wait what the FUCK is that noise? A chainsaw? Is my phone ringing?]</p><p>As Gordon sat on the edge of his bed, head still pounding, he took the pills and attempted to look like a tough guy and dry swallow them. He choked and drank water instead. Who was he trying to impress, anyways? The pills went down fine, and Gordon was a little bit disappointed that it wasn’t cyanide or something cool like that.<br/>
The room came into focus as he blinked a bit and looked around. The room was not as big as a mess as he was expecting, just some of his clothes in a pile and an open Med Kit open on the floor, but the room did have on addition he had not noticed: Barney Calhoun was passed out on his desk chair, arms crossed, mouth drooling, and on top of it all, snoring.</p><p>GORDON: [Did this guy…? What the hell even happened?]</p><p> 	Gordon tried to stretch before almost losing his balance and catching himself on the wall. He figured he’d bother with Calhoun when he woke up, for now, he’d just try and not smell like shit. He used the wall to keep balance as he walked over to the bathroom, his knees threatening to give out beneath him.<br/>
He passed the desk on his way there and saw several polaroids beside his and Barney’s Black Mesa IDs. The only stopped for a second, but he saw two right on toPEPPER: One of some guy passed out in a pool of his own vomit, and the other of Gordon, passed out on top of a broken pool table.</p><p>GORDON: [Jesus who…wait, wait, waIT, WAIT. THAT’S ME THAT- OH GOD I FUCKED UP YESTERDAY. I BROKE THE POOL TABLE. I BEAT THAT GUY.  FUUUCK. That’s a lot to unpack. I think I’ll just. Throw out the whole fucking suitcase. Can’t deal with that right now.]</p><p>He tried not to move his head too much as he got ready, trying not to throw up from the dizziness, but one thing he’d noticed was that his shirt wasn’t covered in vomit.</p><p>GORDON: [If THIS is the shirt I changed into last night, then why is MORE of my clothes on the ground?? How many times did I vomit? How many times did I GET CHANGED? WHO CHANGED ME? OH GOD DO I HAVE THE SAME PANTS? OR DID CALHOUN SEE ME COMPLETELY NAKED? IS HE A SECRET PERVERT?? AM I GONNA HAVE TO REPORT THIS TO HR??]</p><p>Gordon did, in fact, have the same pants as the night before, so he was a little more than relieved the dude sleeping on his chair in the other room had not seen him completely naked. He kept the light off as he took a shower, not really looking forward to Black Mesa’s harsh artificial lighting. Gordon decided to take a long shower, saying fuck the water bill, which had no bearing, as he didn’t even pay the utilities for the dormitory.</p><p>GORDON: [fuck the water bill. I mean, it has no bearing, I don’t even pay the utilities for the dorm. What was the name of the drink that guy made me? What was HIS name? Pepsi?]</p><p>Outside of Gordon’s Bathroom, Barney woke up to the sound of the shower. He stretched a bit before checking his watch and realizing the time.</p><p>BARNEY: One Thirty?? God Damn, I didn’t even mean to sleep that much! But hell if I was about to leave a guy who was concussed and who’d vomited five times. Or was it six? Anyways, better check on him. Gotta make sure he didn’t pass out in the shower.</p><p>(he said to no one in particular). Walking past the kitchen, Barney remembered what he’d seen last night. Not just Gordon being much more of an… interesting person than he thought, but also what he’d seen within the room. </p><p>[ Saturday, November 8th, 200X, around 11 pm, Level 3 Dormitories, Room 309]</p><p>BARNEY: Okay Buddy, just, keep holding onto my shoulder, we’re home. You’ll be in bed soon.<br/>
GORDON: bleuh.<br/>
BARNEY: Are you gonna throw up again? </p><p>Gordon nodded. He held onto Barney with one hand on his shoulder and the other wrapped around his arm. Barney had his arm under Gordon’s armpit, steadying him as he used his free hand to maneuverer around things and open doors. He brought Gordon to his bathroom and helped him kneel down to the toilet, and as soon as he was aligned with it, Gordon threw up.<br/>
{Gordon Vom Counter: 1}<br/>
Barney could never get used to vomit no matter how many times he saw it, so he just looked away, trying not to join Gordon in Barf Ville USA. Once Gordon was done, Barney wiped Gordon’s mouth with toilet paper and flushed the toilet.</p><p>BARNEY: Don’t move, please, I’ll get you some water.</p><p>Gordon just laid his head on his arm on the toilet seat, staring at him. Barney went into Gordon’s kitchenette and looked through his cupboards for some cups, but upon opening the first cupboard, he found something he wished he hadn’t: This cupboard alone was half full of bottles of whiskey and vodka. Some bottles were already empty. He just sighed and closed the cupboard, opening another. Here he found all his dishes- four cups, three plates, four bowls, a pan, and a kettle. </p><p>BARNEY: Argh, Gordon… I guess I have a lot to learn about you. And I guess a single guy living alone wouldn’t need more plates than this… plus he’s been here a week. But if he’s only been here a week, how’d he get so much alcohol, anyways?</p><p>Barney got out a cup and brought it back to Gordon, now full of water. He had also grabbed a Med Kit on his way there and started disinfecting the wound. Gordon tried to protest, but just kept drinking the water. Luckily for Gordon, Dr. Pepper and most of the guards were trained in some form of first aid, and had managed to get a Black Mesa Brand Med Kit (which some people called miracle boxes for their amazingly terrifying ability to mostly heal any wound,) and patch him just fine, so Gordon’s head wasn’t completely cracked open like they thought it was going to be. Gordon managed to drink all the water and had it in him for a whole two minutes before throwing up again.<br/>
{Gordon Vom Counter: 2}<br/>
Barney filled it up again from the tap in the bathroom, and this time, Gordon didn’t it throw up again.</p><p>BARNEY: Okay bud, arms up, we’re getting this nice shirt off of you.<br/>
GORDON: noooooo…<br/>
BARNEY: Gordon, Buddy, it’s covered in vomit.</p><p>Barney took off Gordon’s glasses as Gordon half lifted his arms to help Barney take his shirt off. While Barney took off Gordon's shirt, Gordon had started to cry. Barney didn’t even know what the sobs were until he finally got the shirt off the sobbing man kneeling on the bathroom floor. The man held his shoulders with opposite arms, covering his chest.</p><p>BARNEY: Whoa, whoa, Gordon! What’s wrong?<br/>
GORDON: I want… a shirt… I’m nakey… [unintelligible gibberish]</p><p>Barney tried not to laugh. Maybe there was a legit reason for Gordon’s tears, but hearing him say “nakey” was just a bit much.</p><p>BARNEY: I’ll-I’ll-one second-good lord-</p><p>Barney laughed into his elbow like he was coughing.</p><p>BARNEY: I’ll get you another, just wait a second.</p><p>Barney left the bathroom and got him a t- shirt, but as he was coming back, he heard Gordon vomit again.<br/>
{Gordon Vom Counter: 3}</p><p>BARNEY: Gordon? Buddy, you alright?<br/>
GORDON: nooo….</p><p>Barney rushed in and found he’d vomited again (obvious) but he’d vomited half in the toilet (good) and half on the floor (less good). He was still crying, but they were more quiet sobs than the drama tears of before. He sounded like he was trying to say something, but Barney had no clue what he was trying to say.</p><p>GORDON: [unintelligible gibberish]<br/>
BARNEY: I know, I know, let me clean you up.</p><p>Barney got a towel and wiped Gordon’s chin and chest clean of vomit and used the corner to wipe his face of tears. Gordon didn’t look at him while he did this but grabbed the hand Barney was using to wipe his face. Their hands both stayed there, the cloth on Gordon’s cheek, until Barney started wiping again. With that Gordon’s hand dropped to his side and he just kept mumbling gibberish. He looked at the vomit on the floor and debated whether to clean it up now or later and figured he should probably make sure Gordon didn’t die first.</p><p>BARNEY: Okay, arms up, we’re getting a shirt on.</p><p>Gordon nodded and complied. It was harder than he expected, but Barney finally managed to get the shirt on. It read “Can You Tell I’m A Physics Major?” with some sort of advanced math on it. </p><p>BARNEY: Okay, I’m going to get you some food, because if you keep throwing up, you’ll get an ulcer. </p><p>	Gordon signed at Barney as he swayed back and forth, holding on to the toilet seat with his elbow. Barney still had no idea what it meant.</p><p>GORDON: {did…I did you know that I studied that in Austria?}<br/>
BARNEY: I still don’t know what that means, do you want toast or a granola bar?</p><p>Gordon did not answer as he leaned over the bowl and threw up again.<br/>
{Gordon Vom Counter: 4}.<br/>
Barney took this as an invitation to both, which he quickly looked for and retrieved from the kitchenette pantry.<br/>
The Gordon Vom Counter went up to a solid 6 after that and stayed there. Luckily after Gordon had gotten the toast and water to stay down, he passed out like a light. He kept trying to make the same gestures at Barney he had seen before, but Barney still didn’t understand. He made a mental note to look into that.<br/>
Barney had taken care of drunk friends and babysat his little sister before, so he thought he (mostly) knew what he was doing. He had gotten an ice pack from his fridge to soothe Gordon’s mostly healed head wound, and once Gordon had passed out on the bed and he had cleaned up the vomit the best he could, Barney sat down on his desk chair to rest as well.</p><p>On the desk, were a few things. A pencil cup with a few pens inside, a few textbooks and notebooks, but what really interested him was the framed photo. It was of a younger Gordon, though he couldn’t have been younger, considering he was graduating university, wearing a gown and cap. The photo was of him and another man with darker hair than his- but their face was the same. The other man, who Barney guessed was maybe a cousin or a brother, was smiling a wide grin compared to Gordon’s more reserved, timid smile. It looked more like the other man was happier about graduating than Gordon was. Looking at the photo reminded of the photos he had in his back pocket, which he took out and put on the desk.<br/>
Gordon got up from bed and tried to wobble to the bathroom, which got Barney out of the desk in a jolt.<br/>
{Gordon Vom Counter: 5}</p><p>Gordon’s shirt was ruined, and he’d started crying again. Barney sat him down on the bed and managed to get him somewhat changed. He tried to argue that Gordon didn’t NEED a shirt, but Gordon insisted. The shirt was the only thing that would get him to stop crying. He put Gordon to bed again, this time, getting a garbage can and attempting to tell the wasted and half-asleep Gordon that if he needed to vomit again, to do it there. Gordon just groaned and passed out again.<br/>
With Gordon finally asleep and Barney starting to feel the exhaustion setting in as well, he took a seat again. He looked over at Gordon as he stretched, folding his arms and yawning. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep- his guard instinct was telling him to keep kicking, to keep watch- but his eyes still closed for a moment, bargaining for a moment of rest. It was all he needed before he fell completely asleep.</p><p>[ Saturday, November 9th, 200X, around 1:40 pm, Level 3 Dormitories, Room 309]</p><p>	Barney knocked on the bathroom door.</p><p>BARNEY: Hey Gordon! It’s me, Barney! Are you alright?<br/>
GORDON: [I am the very image of a modern major general I…wait shit how’d that go again, uh, modern major general.]</p><p>	Barney knocked again, louder this time.</p><p>BARNEY: GORDON! Are you alright??<br/>
GORDON: [modern major general, again.]<br/>
BARNEY: OH my god, what if he passed out in the shower? OKAY GORDON, I’M COMING IN!</p><p>	In hindsight, Barney should have checked if the door was locked to begin with, before kicking it down.<br/>
In hindsight, Gordon should have locked the door, I mean, he KNEW Barney was in the dorm with him. But he also should have been more aware of the outside world, and maybe this wouldn’t have happened.<br/>
Luckily for Gordon’s honor and privacy, the shower was in the corner, and had a concrete wall facing the door. </p><p>GORDON: I’M FINE</p><p>	Barney was two steps from opening the shower door and sighed with relief.</p><p>BARNEY: Jesus Gordon, you scared me there! Glad to see you’re okay, how’s your head? You feelin’ better? Want me to clean up? Your room’s kind of a mess and I could-<br/>
GORDON: [GET THE FUCK OUT] Barney, I’m trying to shower.<br/>
BARNEY: Oh, right. Sorry. I’ll clean up.<br/>
GORDON: No, it’s okay.<br/>
BARNEY: Oh okay, I’ll make you something to-<br/>
GORDON: [didn’t you FUCKING hear me?] No, It’s okay.<br/>
BARNEY: Oh okay, I’ll just-<br/>
GORDON: Barney. I think you should go.</p><p>	Barney realized he was a bit more desensitized to showering in front of other dudes considering he’d had to shower in the locker room for three years already. He backed out of the bathroom and started to close the door.</p><p>BARNEY: RIGHT. Right. Sorry. I’ll, uh, see you around.<br/>
GORDON: [thank GOD he finally left, what the fuck was even up? He’s just in my room, barges in and offer to make breakfast, like, what the fuck? What kind of- oh. Aw man. Fuck. He was trying to be nice, wasn’t he? Wait, why do I care? FUCK]</p><p>Barney was grabbing his ID off of the desk when he heard the shower turn off and the bathroom door open.</p><p>GORDON: Barney, wait.<br/>
BARNEY: Gordon?</p><p>Gordon heard Barney start to walk towards the bathroom</p><p>GORDON: [NO NO NO NO NO] No, wait, stop. </p><p>Barney stops in his tracks, standing right before the hallway leading to the bathroom. Gordon thanked science, as he was holding the door frame to steady himself with one hand, and a towel around his waist with the other, dripping wet.</p><p>GORDON: [AAAAARGH I HATE THIS] Thank you.<br/>
BARNEY: Oh, Gordon, it’s okay, you know I-</p><p>Barney was cut off the sound of the slamming door and vomit that followed soon after. This time he did come right up to the door and opened it lightly.<br/>
{Gordon Vom Counter: 6}</p><p>BARNEY: GORDON ARE YOU ALRIGHT?</p><p>Barney tried not to throw up as well as he heard Gordon dry heave before finally finishing.</p><p>GORDON: … yeah. Go home. Thanks.</p><p>Barney quickly wrote his number on a spare sheet of paper from one of Gordon’s notebooks and put the paper by the phone.</p><p>BARNEY: Jesus, Gordon. I’ll give you your privacy but CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I forgot about this so im just uploading all of it so i can feel preassured to work on it :) thankx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Week 2: Gordon Ruins Everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gordon Wake Up! you fucked up big time.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Monday, November 11th, 200X, around 7:40 am, An. Mat. Lab 4]</p><p>COLETTE: Hi, Dr. Freeman, I’m Dr. Green. Could I speak to you outside?</p><p>A tall woman with a brown bob and a lab coat held a clipboard at the door to lab 4, looking at Gordon expectantly. He nodded and got up, following her down the hallway a few paces away from the door to the lab.</p><p>GORDON: [oh god she heard about Friday. I’m going to get killed- or worse, fired. Fuck fuck fuck oh fuck. She totally knows. She knows about how much I drank. She knows about my debts to Pepper. God, I owe that man so much money.]</p><p>COLETTE: Dr. Freeman, you’re aware your training course is this Wednesday?</p><p>Gordon nodded</p><p>GORDON: [oh MY GOD SHE TOTALLY KNOWS]</p><p>The scientist checked her clipboard, tapping her pen on it a few times before she looked back up at him.</p><p>COLETTE: have you been training? This course is quite intensive and being unprepared can lead to serious health risks. I would rather you train and fail your first try than go in blind and injure yourself.</p><p>Gordon looked at her quizzically. </p><p>GORDON: [I thought this was just like. An OSHA mandated lab safety course. Why is she talking about it like it’s a boot camp?]<br/>COLETTE: Dr. Freeman, were you unaware of the physical requirements of the training course?</p><p>Gordon shook his head. He tried to look as innocent as possible, but his constantly neutral and/or stern face made it both weird and ineffective.</p><p>COLETTE: Well, I’ll fax you a copy of the requirements and I’ll push your slot back to Saturday morning, which is actually better in general, you have more time to train and I can get Donavan in early for his security course. Okay Mr. Freeman, I hope to see you ready and able on Saturday at 9 am.</p><p>Dr. Green gave a polite smile and turned on her heels.</p><p>[Monday, November 11th, 200X, around 9 am, Breakroom]</p><p>Gordon poked the buttons on the vending machine, analyzing it.</p><p>GORDON: [stupid fucking machine, give me that fucked up coffee or I might get violent! You don’t think I can, I mean, no one thinks I can. But you haven’t seen me when I’m angry, I can-]<br/>BARNEY: Machine keeping its goodies from ya? It’s like that.<br/>GORDON: [JESUS]</p><p>Gordon jumped as he heard the familiar voice come up from behind him and watched Barney lean against the vending machine.</p><p>GORDON:[HOW CAN A GUY SO LOUD KEEP SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT?]<br/>BARNEY: I know the secret, though. Watch this.</p><p>Barney tapped a quick beat on the side, snapped his fingers once and then punched the side of the machine, causing it to rattle before spitting out a canned coffee onto the floor. Gordon picked it up and watched barney wiggle his fingers at him.</p><p>BARNEY: magic!</p><p>Gordon rolled his eyes and scanned the machine before punching it in the same spot Barney did. The machine stayed silent.</p><p>BARNEY: no no no, Dr. Freeman! You have to do what I did. Couple taps and a snap, then it works. Magic!</p><p>Gordon sighed and tried to mimic what Barney had done, tapping out a beat, snapping, and then punching it. The machine clunked before ejecting a can. Gordon blinked in surprise as he picked it up and handed it to Barney.</p><p>BARNEY: I heard you’re doing the HEV suit course on Saturday. You've been training?<br/>GORDON: [WHO TOLD YOU? WHO’S TALKING ABOUT ME? I’M NOT PARANOID, YOU’RE PARANOID! Wait, an H.E.- What suit?] </p><p>Gordon shook his head. Barney set down the can he had just cracked open and crossed his arms, a disappointed but concerned look on his face.</p><p>GORDON: Dr. Freeman, good form is important. You have to start working out now, or else you’ll pull something! I evaluated Otis during his Security Force Course renewal and it was NOT a pretty sight.<br/>GORDON: [WHAT KIND OF FUCKING COURSE IS THIS?] what should I do to train?<br/>BARNEY: Well, I helped Donavan train for his Course tomorrow, so I could meet you at the gym to help you get started.<br/>GORDON: [I had ENOUGH social interaction on Friday to last me a MONTH, but it seems I don’t have a choice.] okay.<br/>BARNEY: okay them, level 3 Training Facility at… well I get off at 4, so how’s 7?<br/>GORDON: [NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HATE THIS.] sounds good.</p><p>[Monday, November 11th, 200X, around 2 pm, Sector C Black Mesa Transit System Station.]</p><p>Gordon stood behind the yellow safety line on the ledge of the Tram Station, mostly ignoring the Guard that had greeted him only moments before. He turned around when he heard footsteps behind him just as the tram was arriving.</p><p>GINA: Freeman, hold the Tram.</p><p>It was Gina, the total catch Gordon had met the week before.</p><p>GORDON: [OH MY GOD IT’S HER, SHIT, WE’RE RIDING THE SAME TRAM, FUCK, THIS IS YOUR TIME FREEMAN.] Ms. Cross.<br/>GINA: It’s Doctor Cross.<br/>GORDON: [HOT DAMN… ASSERTIVE.]</p><p>Gina greeted the guard politely and got into the tram behind Gordon. She sat down near the door and took out a notebook and pen and started writing. Gordon held the top handrail to the left of Gina, trying not to stare but like, totally was. </p><p>GINA: It’s rude to stare, Freeman.<br/>GORDON: Sorry.</p><p>Gordon was screaming internally, trying to find some way to say something, do something. but all he could do was look away from Gina and then let his eyes slowly wander back to her.</p><p>GINA: What do you want, Freeman?<br/>GORDON: [MAKE SMALL TALK.] Why are you on the tram.<br/>GINA: Is. Is that a question?<br/>GORDON: yes.<br/>GINA: Well, if you checked your memos more than once a day, you’d see I got moved to earlier shifts for the week.<br/>GORDON: oh.<br/>GINA: Yup.</p><p>Gina hadn’t even looked up at him yet. Gordon tried not to seem like he was fidgeting before he asked his question.</p><p>GORDON: Will you be on this Tram this week?<br/>GINA: Yes, unfortunately.<br/>GORDON: [WHAT the FUCK is that suppose to mean?] okay.<br/>GINA: Yup.</p><p>The rest of the commute was in utter silence save for the rumbling of the tram and the noises of Black Mesa’s inner workings. Gordon’s stop finally came, and we walked over to the door.</p><p>GORDON: See you tomorrow.<br/>GINA: I guess so.</p><p>Gina did not look up from her notebook.<br/>Gordon stepped off the tram and it closed its doors and left through another tunnel.</p><p>GORDON: [ What a bitch… She’s just my type.]</p><p>[Monday, November 11th, 200X, around 7 pm, Level 3 Training Facility.]</p><p>Gordon changed into his supposed ‘work out’ clothes he had, which was his MIT ‘Ballroom Dance Club 199X’ shirt and sweatpants in the locker room and walked into the pool, which was the entrance to the training room. The Level 3 training room was actually training rooms, plural, including (but not limited to): the pool, general weight and machine area, tennis court, boxing ring and a room for classes. Gordon walked around, getting his bearings on the way out. Someone was in the pool doing laps in strong, efficient strokes, One man was teaching another proper boxing form, and Gordon waved back to Dr. Colette Green who was playing tennis with someone else he didn’t recognize. <br/>He finally got to the biggest room- the so-called Ring, as it was a large circular room housing the many work out machines and weights, as well as the outermost ring on the floor being made into a 50-meter track. It was fairly empty, save for a pair of people spotting each other on the weights, and of course, Barney standing right in the middle on a weight bench, putting the dumbbell on it just as Gordon walked over to him. He sat up and stretched his shoulders as he waved.</p><p>GORDON: [I thought he was more of a … well you know, I thought he was fat. Damn, does he work out every day? Does he even need to, or do you think it’s like, a genetics thing? I wonder what kind of steroids he uses. Must be expensive.]<br/>BARNEY: Gordon! Ready to get started? Nice shirt!<br/>GORDON: [LISTEN, I HAD to join this dance club, I needed it to graduate. Winning silver in the championships means NOTHING THOUGH.] I’m ready.</p><p>Gordon felt like the pair on the other side of the room’s eyes were burning holes into him. </p><p>BARNEY: So, what’s your usual workout look like? do a lot of aerobics? Weights, maybe?</p><p>Gordon just shrugged.</p><p>GORDON: I haven’t worked out before. [I don’t think I’ve done any legitimate exercise since High School. Well, not if you count that time I ran from the cops. That was a whole triathlon and a half]<br/>BARNEY: WHAT! Gordon! Okay… we have some work to do.</p><p>Gordon spent the next hour and a half getting helpfully yelled at by Barney, who was correcting his form, giving him water and directing his workout regimen. Gordon STILL didn’t understand why it was called a Training Course if it was more like a Physical Exam.<br/>Gordon was holding a plank when Barney brought over what looked to be a weighted vest. He struggled to get his words out while Barney corrected his form with a foot on his behind, signaling him to bring it down.</p><p>GORDON: [FUCK NO, NOT INTO THIS] Barney… What… What is this training for, exactly?<br/>BARNEY: Gordon, it’s for the HEV suit training course. You okay? Are you drinking enough water?<br/>GORDON: [FUCK THIS OH MY GOD SHUT UP I FEEL LIKE I’M ABOUT TO BARF] what is HEV suit?<br/>BARNEY: Okay break time Gordon, what do you MEAN you don’t know what an HEV suit is?</p><p>Gordon let his arms collapse beneath him and he felt like his lungs were about to shrivel up into little raisins. He shook his head, or at least, attempted to, as he also attempted to sit up.</p><p>BARNEY: Gordon, an HEV suit is a Hazardous Environment Suit. There’s three in Anomalous, and they’re in a room off of the Lockers. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen them.<br/>GORDON: [ HEV…Hazardous Environment Vuit. No, wait. Hazardous En-VIRONment suit. What a dumb name.]</p><p>Gordon shook his head No as he gulped down the water.</p><p>BARNEY: Gordon, Listen to me, okay? You are going to have to put one on and do an obstacle course.</p><p>Gordon looked up at him, eyes wide and exhausted.</p><p>GORDON: [WHAT.]<br/>BARNEY: Yes. it can limit your movement and it weighs a butt-load. This vest here is a little less than the weight of the chest piece. I’d know, I tried to get my HEV certification too! Wasn’t allowed to, though. Anyways, Gordon, you have six days to get ready.</p><p>Gordon was staring at the floor, his mind somehow blank and racing at the same time.</p><p>GORDON: [oh my god…. I’m gonna die… what the fuck… it’s over… what the hell...]<br/>BARNEY: I didn’t pick you for a drama queen, Gordon. No one gets their Course Certification on the first try. Well, the Security Team has to, but we have to do a physical exam when we apply. Anyways! Go get some water and come back here, we’re getting to the good part now!<br/>GORDON: [I think my legs are gonna give out under me, fuck this.]</p><p>[Tuesday, November 12th, 200X, around 9 am, Black Mesa Academic Library.]</p><p>Barney walked into the Black Mesa Academic Library, often called Biblio, which was an expansive, two-story library filled to the brim with books, academic texts, reports and journals that scientists could request at any moment. Some were even one of a kind handwritten reports and manuscripts. It even housed regular reading material, for the families of the personnel and themselves in their off-hours. A few scientists even called it the “scientific Library of Congress” due to its diversity and expansiveness. It was a sacred space of academia, held only for the best of the best who could work at Black Mesa. Some even joked they would work as guards just to see the library itself.  Like all libraries, Biblio was staffed with a variety of personnel, from general librarians to ones who worked specifically in sending texts up to the scientists.<br/>Barney spotted Lauren pushing a cart from the front desk over to a maze of shelves.</p><p>BARNEY: Laurie!</p><p>Barney heard shushes from the entire library and put his hand he was using to wave at her down in shame. Lauren pushed her book-filled cart over to Barney, smiling.</p><p>LAUREN: ((Barn, it’s still a library!))<br/>BARNEY: ((Sorry, sorry!))</p><p>	Lauren had perfected her Black Mesa Academic Library Voice, which was louder than a whisper, but quiet enough to not disturb the others working.</p><p>LAUREN: But what in the world are you doing here? You don’t work down here!<br/>BARNEY: ((I know, I know! I just needed to catch you before you left so I snuck down here!))</p><p>Lauren giggled and covered her mouth to muffle the sound.</p><p>LAUREN: Goody-Boy Barney, sneaking around? Well I’d hardly believe it if I weren’t seeing it with my own two eyes! Why did you need to catch me?<br/>BARNEY: ((Well there’s this thing I’ve been wondering about…))</p><p> </p><p>[Wednesday, November 13th, 200X, around 2 pm, Outbound Black Mesa Transit System Tram from Sector C]</p><p> </p><p>Gordon stood nervously on the tram in the same spot as before, to the left of Gina Cross, who sat again on the frontmost seat closest to the door. Gordon WISHED he could sit down, every part of his body aching like hell. He hadn’t worked yesterday- he usually got Tuesdays off- and used that time to train. He’d met someone who’d told him something that kept biting at the back of his mind.</p><p>[Tuesday, November 12th, 200X, around 2 pm, Level 3 Training Facility]</p><p>Gordon was doing lunges following the warmup Barney had written for him. These weren’t that tough- but whatever came next surely would be.</p><p>ELI: Freeman!</p><p>Gordon stopped and turned to see Dr. Eli Vance walking towards him in his own workout clothes carrying some boxing gloves.<br/>Gordon had been formally introduced to the man once he’d returned from his conference, but he was a busy man, what with being just recently promoted to senior researcher. Gordon reflected on that meeting.</p><p>[Thursday, November 8th, 200X, Lab 6]</p><p>Dr. Kleiner had brought Gordon to Eli’s office.</p><p>KLEINER: Eli! Here’s Dr. Gordon Freeman, the newest addition to the Anomalous Materials Team.</p><p>Dr. Eli Vance got up from his desk and shook Gordon’s hand with a warm smile.</p><p>ELI: Nice to meet you Dr. Freeman! If you need anything, please let me know. Well, let one of my assistants know. Not to brag, but I finally got promoted to senior researcher, so I’ve got quite a bit under my belt at the moment. Speaking of which, I’ve got a meeting in fifteen, and it’s a few floors up. Nice meeting you Freeman, hope to see you around. </p><p>Gordon from the future of Wednesday the 13th realized he was two flashbacks in and needed to cut to the chase already.</p><p>[Tuesday, November 12th, 200X, around 2 pm, Level 3 Training Facility]</p><p>GORDON: Hello Dr. Vance<br/>ELI: Training for your HEV suit course?<br/>GORDON: [unfortunately] yes.<br/>ELI: Well by all means, don’t let me stop you. Please, continue! <br/>GORDON: [NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]</p><p>Gordon smiled politely and got back to his (reluctant albeit necessary) lunges.</p><p>ELI: You know Freeman, I’ve heard a lot about you.<br/>GORDON: [AHHHHH-wait what-AHHHHHHH]<br/>ELI: I have friends in admin - connections, you know? - they said it all. You’re top of your class at MIT, worked abroad and rose to high ranks in your department within a year. You got numerous invitations to teach and work at some prestigious and even well-paying universities, and your reason for applying for Black Mesa was not just through recommendation of Dr. Kleiner, but rather because you were BORED of the work and the lack of progress being made in Innsbruck!<br/>GORDON: [for a-AHHHHH-for a top-secret facility-AHHHH-there aren’t a lot of-AHHHH-well-kept secrets]</p><p>Gordon picked up the weights and did (even more painful) lunges as he held them over his head. His legs and arms were begging him to stop.</p><p>ELI: Freeman, you strike me like the kinda guy who doesn’t like doing things unless you’re good at em right away.<br/>GORDON: [Who are you to-AHHHHHH-to be psychoanalyzing me?]<br/>ELI: Here’s a word of advice: Get out of your comfort zone and push yourself! <br/>GORDON: [Didn’t ask, but whatever, I guess. I forgot I’m young and need mentoring from any older male.] Thank you, Dr. Vance.</p><p>[Wednesday, November 13th, 200X, around 2 pm, Outbound Tram from Sector C]</p><p>GORDON: [Push yourself Gordon! You’re no fucking pansy! Ask her if she's busy, work it out, it’s fine it’s FINE IT’S FINE.]</p><p>Gordon turned to Gina, who side eyed him before going back to her notebook.</p><p>GORDON: hey. [OKAY OKAY OKAY BE CASUAL.]<br/>GINA: Hello.<br/>GORDON: What are you writing?<br/>GINA: Private matters.<br/>GORDON: okay. [FUCK.]</p><p>Gordon shifted, thinking of his next (terrible) move.</p><p>GORDON: are you busy tomorrow?<br/>GINA: yes.<br/>GORDON: [FUCK.] When are you free?<br/>GINA: Never. Sorry.</p><p>The rest of the commute was in utter (awkward) silence.</p><p>[Thursday, November 14th, 200X, around 4 am, Lab 4]</p><p>Gordon and Gina were working over the same spreadsheet and notes they had been given, working out inconsistencies. Sure, it was mainly busy work, but Gordon wasn’t about to complain. It was their joint shift, so they worked together in the lab on the same project. Gordon worked on the chalkboard, writing down anything that needed to be double-checked or re-calculated as Gina read it out to him.<br/>They had started their shift earlier than Gordon was used to, so combined with the late workout from the night before, Gordon was ready to collapse.</p><p>GORDON: I’m going for coffee, would you like some? [a perfectly calculated move…]<br/>GINA: No thank you. It’s really bad for you. I assume you’re aware.<br/>GORDON: I am aware. [She’s so mean… love that in a woman.]<br/>[Thursday, November 14th, 200X, around 4 am, Breakroom]</p><p>Gordon punched the buttons on the vending machine, frustrated at the despicable contraption.</p><p>GORDON: [oh I KNOW this thing hates me, personally. Well fuck you too machine. I’ll get my coffee and then I’ll kick the shit out of you. Wait. Don’t vending machines kill more people than sharks? So, it’s in your nature to be an asshole... that makes two of us…]<br/>BARNEY: Dr. Freeman, I thought I taught you the secret!</p><p>Gordon almost jumped when he heard the voice.</p><p>GORDON: [JESUS we need to get you a bell or something. Wait, how did he even know I was in here? Has he been watching me? 10 creep points to Calhoun!]<br/>BARNEY: Saw you on the cams and decided to come say hi. Don’t you remember the trick I taught you?</p><p>Gordon thought for a moment before remembering the last time he’d seen Barney in the breakroom. He tapped a beat on the side of the machine and snapped before punching it. It rumbled before spitting out one can of coffee. He cracked it open and let the caffeine go straight into his blood.</p><p>BARNEY: It’s a Black Mesa Guard secret, so don’t go telling any of your Scientist friends. Oh! How much time do you have left on your break?</p><p>Gordon checked his watch and shrugged.</p><p>GORDON: About 5 minutes.<br/>BARNEY: Perfect! Okay, I wanna show you something, just give me a second.</p><p>Barney looked at his hands and seemed to be calculating something.</p><p>GORDON: [what the hell is he doing? Is he going to do like, a magic trick or something? or like. Really quick math?]<br/>BARNEY: okay, okay, I’m ready, okay watch this.</p><p>Barney got into some sort of stance in front of Gordon, hands in front of him at neck level.</p><p>BARNEY: {Hello. My. Name. Is. B. A. R. N. E. Y.}</p><p>Gordon stood stunned.</p><p>GORDON: {you know ASL?}<br/>BARNEY: Okay Gordon, I ain’t that good, I can’t really read it just yet.<br/>GORDON: [oh my god he’s learning ASL?] who taught you?<br/>BARNEY: Oh, well, I got these books from Biblio that are like the basics.<br/>GORDON: Why?<br/>BARNEY: Why what?<br/>GORDON: Why did you learn?<br/>BARNEY: Oh pfft, because I saw you do it!</p><p>Gordon blinked, still unbelieving. </p><p>GORDON: …what? [WHAT.]<br/>BARNEY: Yeah, remember on Friday, when I asked you about your…</p><p>Barney looked over Gordon’s shoulder, checking for anyone in the hallway or breakroom. </p><p>BARNEY: … ((your action figure?)) and you did something with your hands, and I didn’t get it? So I went to Lauren- you met her, remember?- she works in Biblio, so I went and asked her, I said “What’s up with all these hand movements?” and at first she thought it was gang signs, but you don’t look like the type to be in a gang, so I told her it was like, some sorta code, and she knew what it was. Turns out Black Mesa has some books on American Sign Language. Well, it has two, to be specific<br/>GORDON: [ He learned…He learned because he saw me do it once? I don’t know if I should be flattered or creeped out. A little of both? Only 5 Creep points this time.]</p><p>Gordon pointed at himself and seemed to be double checking if Barney really learned because of him.</p><p>BARNEY: well yeah, You! Who else?<br/>GORDON: [huh. Well. Wow, I guess. I mean, he still has a way to go, and it IS harder to learn a second language at an older age. But still. Wow.] wow.<br/>BARNEY: yeah! Hopefully I’ll get better.<br/>GORDON: hey. {thank you.}<br/>BARNEY: What’s that one mean?<br/>GORDON: Means ‘Thank You.’<br/>BARNEY: huh. {thank you.} nice.</p><p>Gordon allowed himself a small smile as the calm silence hung in the air as he drank his coffee. Gordon checked his watch and realized it was time to get back.</p><p>BARNEY: 5 minutes are up, huh? Well, I’ve got to get back to my shift too now. Gotta do my important work of Making Sure No One Steals Office Supplies and Standing By A Door.<br/>GORDON: [Nice Chat, time to now do my infinitely greater service to Humanity.] {Goodbye.}</p><p>Barney seemed excited.</p><p>BARNEY: wait, wait, I know this one! Goodbye! Yes, {Goodbye.}</p><p> The two left the breakroom and went their separate ways. Gordon kept his composure externally.</p><p>GORDON: [Oh my god, he’s learning? Because of me? Another human person wants to interact with me in a meaningful way? Seems wrong, but I won’t be the one to tell him that.]</p><p>[Thursday, November 14th, 200X, around 5 am, Lab 4]</p><p>Invigorated by his newfound realization that people could and wanted to interact with him in ways that weren’t just professional, Gordon thought now would be as good a time as any to put the moves on Gina. When he got back, the room was mostly empty, save for the senior researcher who sidestepped Gordon to leave the room. Just them now. Gina had set the notebook she seemed to carry everywhere down and returned to her computer once she realized Gordon had returned.<br/>Gordon stopped a few paces behind her.</p><p>GORDON: Gina.<br/>GINA: It’s Dr. Cross.<br/>GORDON: Gina.</p><p>She turned around, almost surprised, like no one had ever defied her in that way before. No one probably had. First names were so personal in a workplace like this. They were shared between only the closest of friends, or for the most important of moments. Gordon hoped this was one of them.</p><p>GORDON: Would you like to go out with me sometime? [I DID IT. I REALLY FREAKIN’ DID IT. MAN, IS THIS THE KIND OF MOMENT PEOPLE SAY SHIT LIKE “BOY HOWDY!” BECAUSE I’M REALLY FEELING IT.]</p><p>Gina stared at him, amazed for a moment before she just looked a terrible mix of frustrated and annoyed.</p><p>GINA: Gordon Freeman. How many times do I have to tell you? No. I do not want to go out with you.<br/>GORDON: [WHAT. BUT. I ASKED???] why?</p><p>Gina stood up and walked right up to Gordon, one finger on his chest, pushing him back.</p><p>GINA: You know what? I don’t owe you an explanation. But I’ll give you one since you seem too dense to understand anything else but direct action. Gordon Freeman. I do not want to go out with you. I don’t care about you as a person, so this is less about you, and more about the fact that I don’t like men. I. Am. A. Lesbian. And if you tell anyone, Human Resources WILL be getting involved and I WILL be suing for defamation of character. Now get back to work and shut up.</p><p>Gordon stepped back, letting Gina’s finger hang in the air for a moment before she went back to her computer.<br/>Gordon’s face showed not a trace of emotion. He went rigid and started to robotically do his work. He wasn’t even aware of the work he was doing, just working on autopilot. His thoughts were too preoccupied on the rejection. It was the loudest thing in his head. It was above the math and the theorems, which wasn’t a first, but it wasn’t pleasant, nonetheless.</p><p>GORDON: [whatever. Whatever! I don’t care. I really don’t! SEE? This is why I don’t ask people out. I just say yes to others or go on blind dates. It’s fine, I don’t care. She’s lying anyways. She’s just doing it to get me to stop asking. Which is fair. But she didn’t need to go that far. Whatever. I don’t need to get in trouble with HR again after the incident with Backman’s keys, so I should just keep quiet. I should just keep quiet. It’s fine, it’s whatever. I don’t care. I’ll keep quiet.]</p><p>[Thursday, November 14th, 200X, around 11 am, Sector C Black Mesa Transit System Station]</p><p>The tram was about to depart when the guard stopped it.</p><p>COLETTE: Hold the Tram, Please!</p><p>Gina and Gordon, who were glad for something to break the awkward tension on the tram, looked over to see Dr. Green pacing quickly towards the Tram. She thanked the guard as she got on, and held the upper handrail in front of Gina. She held a Briefcase that she was shoving some papers into.</p><p>COLETTE: Gina! Wonderful to see you! I didn’t want to miss the tram or else I’d be late for the meeting. You off for the day?</p><p>Gina looked up at Colette, quickly closing her notebook. She had a huge smile on her face as she looked up at her, even the dim lights of the tram making her eyes sparkle.</p><p>GINA: I am! I just got off my joint shift with…</p><p>Gina’s face looked considerably more annoyed as she glanced over at Gordon. Colette looked over to follow her eyes and seemed surprised to see him.</p><p>COLETTE: Dr. Freeman! I didn’t see you there, sorry. Have you been preparing for your course like I instructed?</p><p>Gordon nodded.</p><p>COLETTE: That's good, I hope to see you do well. But Gina, are you free at around 4? There’s this movie I got ((as a bit of contraband from outside!)) that I want to give you to take a look at, I think you’ll find it quite interesting. It’s about this ship in deep space that-<br/>GINA: Colette…</p><p>Whatever they were discussing was clearly something that they preferred to keep private, but Colette had gotten so caught up in discussing it she’d forgotten Gordon was right there despite just talking to him.</p><p>COLETTE: Right! Right. Sorry. Um… Oh, Gina, have you thought about giving your likeness to the hologram system we’re implementing?<br/>GINA: I’m still on the fence…<br/>GORDON: [oh so she’s LESBIAN lesbian. Guess she wasn’t lying. Huh.]</p><p>The rest of the short tram ride, Gina and Colette spoke quietly about more work-related matters, completely ignoring Gordon. He didn’t mind, though. He only half listened to what they had to say and was mostly inside his own head. It wasn’t until Colette got off shortly after that Gordon turned to a still smiling Gina.</p><p>GORDON: She’s cute.<br/>GINA: Oh fuck off.<br/>GORDON: Not my type. Seems like yours though.</p><p>Gina turned bright red. </p><p>GINA: Shut! SHUT UP! I SWEAR FREEMAN, YOU SAY A WORD AND I’LL KILL YOU!<br/>GORDON: I’ll keep it secret. On one condition.</p><p>Gordon held up one finger. Gina looked terrified for a second before Gordon extended his hand.</p><p>GORDON: Truce. </p><p>Gina paused for a moment before she took his hand and shook it.</p><p>GINA: Truce.</p><p>There was silence as they shook- a calm, understanding silence.</p><p>GORDON: so. Movies?</p><p>Gina turned red again.</p><p>GINA: it’s JUST movies, alright? She always gets movies brought in by Stacy and she SAYS she’ll give them to me but she invites me in and we end up watching them together. NOTHING ELSE.</p><p>Gordon rolled his eyes.</p><p>GINA: I’m serious! It’s all we do! Oh don’t act like you’re any better.</p><p>Gordon gave her a confused look.</p><p>GINA: what with running around with Calhoun. I saw him carrying you bridal style to your dorm. Was walking down that way back from the caf- I had forgotten my purse.</p><p>Now it was Gordon’s turn to turn red.</p><p>GORDON: [he was DOING WHAT] he was just helping me. I was intoxicated.</p><p>Gina raised an eyebrow at him.</p><p>GINA: really. And what happened after that?<br/>GORDON: [WHAT NO NO NO I’M- HE’S NOT-] we’re not like that.<br/>GINA: Really? Because I pegged you for, well, you know, “one of us” when I first met you. I guess that’s why it bothered me when you started to hit on me- I thought I’d gotten another member in the club. <br/>GORDON: [AHHHHHHHHH also haha get it? Pegged?] No- I’m- well- it’s not like that. Barney’s not like that-it’s just- Oh it’s my stop. I’ll see you tomorrow Dr. Cross.</p><p>Gordon started to quickly step off the tram as the doors opened. Gina looked at him through the tram window, smirking.</p><p>GINA: Hey Freeman. We’re off work. It’s just Cross.</p><p>The tram hissed as it continued down the track. </p><p>[Saturday, November 16th, 200X, 9:00 am, Training Room 2]</p><p>Gordon stood in his Black Mesa Standard Under suit, which was basically a long-sleeved shirt and pants made out of athletic, sweat proof material. He watched as Dr. Cross came out, already wearing one of the suits Gordon was supposed to wear. Hers was a brassy red- shiny and polished, it made her look bigger than she was. Gordon had seen them at this point- glances at them in the locker room, but he never got a close look until now. They were practically mechs.</p><p>COLETTE: Ready to begin, Dr. Freeman?</p><p>Gordon nodded as he adjusted his glasses.</p><p>COLETTE: Please enter the next room to enter your HEV suit.</p><p>Gordon nervously entered, his throat feeling dry. Was he ready for this? Did he train enough?<br/>In the middle of the room, practically on a pedestal was the suit. He felt himself drawn towards it, like a calling.</p><p>GORDON: [it’s destiny.]</p><p>Gordon put his hand to the hand panel, and the closet-like machine that housed the HEV suit opened up and started to work around him. It seemed the suit put itself on for him, clasping and clicking everywhere until it finally hissed closed.</p><p>HEV: WELCOME. TO THE HEV. MARK. FOUR. HAZARDOUS ENVIRONMENTS. SUIT. HAVE. A NICE. DAY.<br/>GORDON: [IT TALKS?]<br/>COLETTE: We don’t have the helmet for this one currently- it’s the spare and it was taken for another suit. I hope that’s okay. Moving on.</p><p>The suit was incredibly heavy, much heavier than Gordon could have expected, even with the vest Barney had told him to wear. It was pure metal and machinery, with only small portions designed for comfort.</p><p>COLETTE: The HEV suit can be disorienting at first- take your time to acclimate to it. You go ahead and I’ll follow you.</p><p>Gordon tried to stride with confidence, allowing for Colette to follow behind him, before falling over flat on his face. Getting up was much harder than he thought. It was like doing a pushup with 40 pounds of steel on his back, which he guessed, was what he was doing.</p><p>COLETTE: Lean into it, Dr. Freeman. It’s a machine, so work with it rather than against it.</p><p>Gordon did as she instructed and felt something in his forearms and back start to whirr and work. It was easier to get up- though still not great.<br/>The beginning was difficult, though not as bad as he thought. It took him a long time, but Gordon jumped, crouched, crawled and duck jumped through the obstacle course and he only fell a minimum of 5 times on each obstacle.<br/>Gordon felt he was doing pretty well, but Colette’s reassurance that he’d get it eventually and the somewhat disappointed sounding scientists made him realize he wasn’t doing that great after all.<br/>He finally got to the end portion of the Obstacle Course</p><p>COLETTE: Okay, well. That was okay. Now it’s time for the Tactical Portion. It’s okay if you’re unsure of how to use these weapons- It’s hard to study them. I can help if you need me to.</p><p>Gordon shook his head no and walked into the weapons room. Colette watched in utter shock as Gordon loaded and readied every weapon given to him. He now walked with actual confidence into the target practice room and awaited further instructions.</p><p>COLETTE: Okay, Well, you need to hit every target to continue. You can reload as many times as you need to.</p><p>She pressed a button and the machinery started to whir. Everyone, the scientists behind the bulletproof glass, the guards at the door, and even Colette herself watched as Gordon shot and threw grenades at every target with startling accuracy. In under a minute he had finished- faster than anyone before him. He stood, eyes still looking laser focused forward.<br/>Colette closed her hanging jaw and tried to hide her surprise.</p><p>COLETTE: Okay. Um, that was good. Really good. I’ll need you to leave your weapons by the door before you can continue. </p><p>Gordon almost reluctantly parted with the grenades and assault rifle, but walked into the other room anyways, following Colette.</p><p>The room that Gordon could see was a winding catwalk raised a few meters above the ground.</p><p>COLETTE: Here, you’ll need to activate your flashlight using the button marked F on the right arm of your suit. Calhoun, please turn off the lights. Dr. Freeman, I’ll meet you on the other side.<br/>GORDON: [Barney?]</p><p>Gordon turned on the flashlight and used it to maneuver on the raised platform, watching here he stepped. For a second, he looked over to the window on the other side of the room- it was illuminated, but not enough to light up the catwalk- and saw Barney. He didn’t look at Gordon or even smile, he just stood, arms at his side, looking at nothing. <br/>That split second Gordon took to stray his eyes away from the catwalk was enough. He felt the ground disappear under him, but this time it was as he stepped forward, and felt a crushing weight as he fell flat on the ground.</p><p>HEV: MINOR. FRACTURE. DETECTED. ADMINISTERING. MORPHINE.<br/>GORDON: [I THINK I BROKE MY FUCKING NOSE wait did that say morphine]<br/>BARNEY: Gordon!</p><p>Gordon sat up and looked up at Barney, who was now pressed against the glass, the stern look now replaced with worry. He snapped back to his stern, rigid form as soon as Colette’s voice could be heard on the speaker.</p><p>COLETTE: Calhoun, return to your post! Do not aid in the course.<br/>BARNEY: Apologies.<br/>COLETTE: Dr. Freeman, you may take the ladder lit up in red in order to return to the beginning.</p><p>Gordon could feel warm blood trickle down his face as he got up but was surprised to feel almost no pain. He figured it was the morphine, but he didn’t want to find out. His left glasses lesse was cracked, but he was glad it was the only thing he could tell was broken. He trudged to the ladder and slowly climbed up, gaining his strength back from the shock, but it felt like the machine of a suit was accounting for that and kept him moving anyways.<br/>He didn’t look away the next time.</p><p>Colette did not react to Gordon’s bloody nose and instead led him to the next room silently.<br/>The next room was the long jump room, which was a long hallway made up of holes with 5 platforms, spread decently far apart.</p><p>COLETTE: Here is the Long Jump Pack, It will attach to your HEV suit automatically. You need to crouch before you jump in order to activate it. It’s okay if you don’t make it the first time- but if you make all 5 jumps the first time, it means you are doing well. It’s easier if you take a running start.</p><p>Colette’s tone was no longer helpful or kind. It was stern but neutral. Gordon put the pack on like a backpack and felt it clip into the suit as it started to whirr and hum.</p><p>GORDON: [come on Gordon, you fucking idiot, focus. you can do this, clear mind, focus only.]</p><p>Gordon sprinted the best he could under the weight of the suit and took the first leap.</p><p>[Saturday, November 16th, 200X, 12 pm, Medical Bay 1]</p><p>COLETTE: Gordon? Dr. Freeman, are you awake?<br/>GORDON: [did I get wasted again? Man I have GOT to stop having vodka for dinner…and breakfast.] huh?<br/>COLETTE: Gordon, can you tell me who I am?</p><p>Gordon blinked as he focused on the angelic figure standing above him before realizing it was Colette.</p><p>GORDON: Dr…. Colette Green.</p><p>She sighed with relief, one hand on her chest.</p><p>COLETTE: Oh thank god. We thought you might have a concussion after you slapped against the concrete platform… you also have a broken nose, but that’ll get fixed up quick. Unfortunately, even if you had completed the jump, you would not have passed the test.</p><p>Gordon looked around the room and saw a Doctor, a nurse, and Barney standing by the door, again, rigid and stern, staring forward.</p><p>GORDON: [oh shit… I was doing that course. Was I drunk? No, I don’t think so. I hit a platform? Man, I must have looked dumb as shit.]<br/>COLETTE: But that’s okay! No one’s ever gotten it on the first try. Not even me. You’ll get it eventually. Now, rest up, you have work on Monday.</p><p>Colette thanked the doctors and turned to the door.</p><p>COLETTE: Calhoun. I will be speaking with you outside.</p><p>Barney nodded and followed her outside after the doctors left. The nurse left the door open a sliver on accident, and Gordon could hear bits and pieces of the conversation.</p><p>COLETTE: when you volunteered…. that’d you’d cause…...…irresponsible of you…liability...<br/>BARNEY: Sorry I… help, it’s just……. Sorry, It won’t…<br/>COLETTE: I should… suspended without leave… Might, but who…</p><p>Gordon heard them walk past the door and down the hallway and the conversation became clearer for a moment before it became increasingly unintelligible until he couldn’t understand it anymore.</p><p>COLETTE: … just because you’re friends doesn’t mean you have to get involved in everything he does. Wasn’t this…. problem with Officer Parks?<br/>BARNEY: That’s not a fair comparison, I just wanted to help, I promise…...happen again!<br/>COLETTE: Calhoun I…… suspended, for……<br/>BARNEY: No, I……</p><p>Gordon tried to listen, but exhaustion got the best of him, and he fell asleep.</p><p>[Sunday, November 17th, 200X, Level 3 Dormitories, Room 309.]</p><p>Gordon sat on the front most pew in the Black Mesa Sanctioned Catholic Church, his hands clasped together in prayer.</p><p> </p><p>Just fucking kidding. Do you honestly think Gordon “Probably Had A Strip Dancing Career to Pay For University” Freeman goes to CHURCH???<br/>Gordon woke up, still (mostly) dressed, almost melted ice pack still on his face. He was more pissed with himself than anything and would probably have smacked his face with his palm if his nose didn’t still ache.</p><p>GORDON: [stupid fucking Gordon with the stupid fucking course and stupid fucking inability to do shit right. It’s whatever, I don’t care. If I had trained more, then maybe I wouldn’t have face planted into the ledge. Maybe if I had stayed focused, I wouldn’t have fallen over, and Barney wouldn’t have…]</p><p>Gordon sat up. He hadn’t seen or heard from Barney since he passed out at the medical bay the day before. He soon felt a headache hit him, making him fall back down on the bed. The next time he got up, he took his time. Gordon walked past the phone on his desk and took a few steps back when he realized what he had seen: Barney’s internal phone number, scratched quickly on a sheet of scrap paper with the words “Call if you need anything– Barney C.” as if Gordon knew or spoke to any other Barney in the facility.<br/>He sat down and looked at the number. His hand reached for the phone but recoiled in surprise when it started ringing. He answered quickly.</p><p>GORDON: Hello? [Barney?]<br/>COLETTE: Dr. Freeman! Good to see you’re up! How are you feeling? Good, I hope. You still have to come in on Monday! But speaking of work. We have a few new test samples that arrived and it’s critical you get your HEV suit certification. You’ve been scheduled in for next week, same time. Is that okay?</p><p>It was Colette. Her tone was as cheery and bright as always, though Gordon knew now that it didn’t always mean she was giving good news.<br/>Gordon lightly rubbed the bandage on his nose and tightening closed his eyes. He was still trying to process everything she’d said.</p><p>GORDON: okay. [man, I wonder what Gina sees in her outside of work, because she’s kind of a dickhead. And not in a hot way.]<br/>COLETTE: Good! See you Monday.</p><p>The line clicked off.<br/>Gordon picked up the piece of scrap paper and started to dial when the phone started ringing again. </p><p>GORDON: Hello?<br/>ADMIN: Yes hello Dr. Freeman, this is administration, I’m Julia, I just wanted to let you know that your injuries sustained in the course were minor and will not make you eligible for worker’s comp or any extra sick days. We heard about your glasses, and we can pay those in part, but not fully.<br/>GORDON: Okay.<br/>ADMIN: That’s all Doctor, have a nice day.</p><p>The line clicked off.<br/>Gordon groaned and started to rest his face in his palm before wincing in pain. He decided to be quick and call before anyone else wanted his undivided attention.<br/>The line rang three times before he picked up.</p><p>BARNEY: Hello?</p><p>Gordon felt his stomach sink. What was he even going to say?</p><p>GORDON: Calhoun.<br/>BARNEY: Gordon? <br/>GORDON: Yes.<br/>BARNEY: How… um, How’s your nose?<br/>GORDON: Broken, but otherwise just as big as ever.</p><p>Barney seemed to laugh from the other end of the line.</p><p>GORDON: [OKAY OKAY HE DOESN’T TOTALLY HATE ME FOR GETTING HIM IN TROUBLE.] what about you?<br/>BARNEY: What about me?</p><p>Gordon gulped dramatically. He didn’t mean to, but it was dramatic anyways.</p><p>GORDON: Yes, I… I heard a bit of your conversation with Dr. Green.<br/>BARNEY: Which one.</p><p>Barney’s voice was worried but restrained. Gordon could almost imagine his cold, neutral face and wondered if he and Barney had switched their usual expressions. Gordon knew he looked more worried than he should be.</p><p>GORDON: as soon as you left the Med Bay.<br/>BARNEY: Oh. Yeah, um, I think I’ll be either on leave or on transfer to a different sector for the week, or longer, I’m not really sure. I still have to check with my Lieutenant on Monday. But Gordon, never mind that, I was gonna call you and checkup, but I figured I should let you rest. I’m really sorry for distracting you during your course. I just wanted to be there, you know, like a support thing? I know I shouldn’t have been there; I should have figured it would have done something. I’m sorry, Gordon.<br/>GORDON: [he’s… sorry? HE’S sorry? I fucked HIM over! If I hadn’t gotten DISTRACTED, he wouldn’t be in this shit. Why is HE apologizing?] It’s… It’s okay. I’m going again next week.</p><p>The line was silent as Gordon couldn’t get the words out. He wanted to say something, anything. He tried to find the words, but none of them seemed to be what he wanted.</p><p>GORDON: I made a mistake and you took the fall.<br/>BARNEY: What? It’s okay. And technically you took the fall.<br/>GORDON: It’s not your fault.<br/>BARNEY: it’s alright Gordon! No need to get worked up. I’ll be okay. I like Sector C a lot, but I’d rather get moved than lose my job. Plus, people get moved all the time. I’ll be fine.<br/>GORDON: I understand.<br/>BARNEY: Listen, Gordon, I gotta go. Take care, alright? I’ll call you later.<br/>GORDON: Goodbye.<br/>BARNEY: Bye Gordon.</p><p>The line clicked off. Gordon rubbed his temples. He fucked up. He fucked up the course and he fucked over now the one person who genuinely seemed to like him.<br/>Gordon rolled his eyes at his sudden, dramatic realization at the value of friendship, and it gave him a headache.<br/>Gordon needed to think. He slowly got up, head still throbbing, and went for his Discman, headphones on, click- it was out of batteries. Gordon groaned. Great. <br/>He fucked up the course, he fucked up getting spare batteries and he fucked over the one person who had genuinely seemed to like him. Great.</p><p>Gordon trudged over to the bathroom, grinding his teeth.</p><p>GORDON: [God, you fuck everything up. You have to be better; you ARE better. So why am I fucking everything up? This whole week has been a mess and it’s all my fucking fault. It’s fine. It’s whatever I don’t care. I just need to just. I need to…I just…... man, I need to shit.]</p><p> Gordon felt a little better after doing his business but felt his stomach hit the floor when he saw his toilet water had started to rise…. Gordon flushed again and again, and before he knew it, the toilet was pretty much completely flooded, the gross water spilling onto the floor. He didn’t have a plunger; he’d barely been at his dorm all week and he hadn’t gotten time to request any actual supplies. He barely had toilet paper left as it is. Great.<br/>He fucked up the course, he fucked up getting spare batteries, he fucked up his bathroom, and he fucked over the one person who had genuinely seemed to like him. Great.<br/>Gordon groaned and pulled his hair</p><p>GORDON: [It’s not whatever, it’s not fine, I DO CARE. Why do I CARE?]</p><p>Gordon groaned loudly and slammed the bathroom door, throwing a half-assed punch at the hallway wall before leaning against it. It was concrete, and he knew this. His hand hurt like hell and it wasn’t even that hard of a punch. He didn’t even know why he punched the wall. Who was he trying to impress or intimidate, even? Himself? No one was even around.<br/>Gordon groaned again -this one more of a sob than a groan- and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. He crumpled into a ball, listening to the water overflowing in the room beside him. He had his knees up to his chest and his hands onto this head, pulling at his hair where his bangs used to be. It was a bad habit of his- he used to play with his hair or braid it when he was frustrated. Now there was nothing to braid or play with. Just fists balled up and pulling his hair almost from the scalp.<br/>	He almost didn’t get up when he heard the knocking at the door.</p><p>GORDON: [Fuck, I look like shit. I’ll just tell them I’m sick. The puffy eyes will convince them.]</p><p>Gordon hesitantly opened the door but was a little more than stunned when he saw the mailman at the door. He wasn’t dressed like the mailman, though, but it was clearly the same man. A pale, tall, exhausted looking…Plumber? with the freakiest looking green eyes he’d ever seen and a… briefcase?</p><p>GORDON: [WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?] what…what can I help you with?<br/>PLUMBER: I’m here…to do the…plumbing, Mr. Freeman.<br/>GORDON: [HOW THE FUCK DID HE KNOW?] I…did not call for any plumbing.<br/>PLUMBER: But…you do, have a …. Problem, don’t you….?<br/>GORDON: [BUDDY, I have LOTS of problems.] Uh, yeah, come inside.</p><p>The Plumber Man stepped inside of Gordon’s dorm and looked around, his toolbox in one hand and his briefcase in the other.</p><p>PLUMBER: What’s your…. Problem?<br/>GORDON: …MY problem? [I’LL FUCKING TELL YOU WHAT’S MY PROBLEM, BUDDY, IT’S THAT I’M STARTING TO THINK THAT MY ROOM IS BUGGED AND That maybe I fuck everything up and all my success up to this point has been pure luck.]<br/>PLUMBER: Yes…...your problem. With the … plumbing.<br/>GORDON: [oh.] It’s the toilet in the bathroom. It’s the last door down the hall.</p><p>Gordon led the strange plumber to the bathroom and the man entered the slightly flooded bathroom. He walked right over to the toilet, leaned in 90 degrees, and just watched it continue to overflow before going back to his upright position.</p><p>PLUMBER: Yes… it seems you…have a …clog.<br/>GORDON: [No fucking duh.]<br/>PLUMBER: I will… work on it….</p><p>The man didn’t move, and Gordon wondered what to do.</p><p>PLUMBER: I prefer to work with the door closed.<br/>GORDON: oh uh. Okay. [HUH??]</p><p>Gordon closed the door on the suspiciously fucking weird guy.</p><p>GORDON: [that guy is suspiciously fucking weird.]</p><p>Gordon turned to leave the hallway when the man started talking to him, seemingly in the same tone, but loud enough that Gordon could hear him through the door.</p><p>PLUMBER: The weather… has been… odd, lately.<br/>GORDON: [what the FUCK is going on?] Uh. I suppose so. Haven’t been outside recently.<br/>PLUMBER: Fixing things is…. A job of mine, it seems….to be up to the most…reluctant… of people, to be the ones…who fix things.</p><p>Gordon was about to walk away and let the man talk to himself when he started hearing loud banging and turned around. It stopped soon after, but was replaced with drilling, then…was that a squeaky toy?</p><p>PLUMBER: I think….to fix things…...requires…courage.</p><p>The noises upgraded (if it could even be called an upgrade) to wet slapping sounds, a cartoon hammer, and an egg timer, in that order, each of varying length.</p><p>PLUMBER: to fix… something….one must first admit…. that one has the tools… to fix it.<br/>GORDON: [WHAT is this guy talking about?]<br/>ELI: Freeman?</p><p>Gordon turned from the door and saw Eli Vance looking in, leaning a little to side with a somewhat confused look on his face.</p><p>GORDON: Dr. Vance. [ARGH, WHAT NOW?]<br/>ELI: Why’s your door wide open?<br/>GORDON: The plumber just came in.<br/>ELI: I see… I heard about your course results.<br/>GORDON: [word travels pretty FUCKING fast, I guess.] I didn’t pass.<br/>ELI: and you broke your nose.<br/>GORDON: [AND I BROKE MY NOSE] I did.</p><p>Gordon motioned for Eli to come in, which he did. He looked around a bit and seemed almost impressed.</p><p>ELI: I also heard about Barney. Seems he got transferred out.<br/>GORDON: [so the decision was already made. Did Barney know?] I’m aware.<br/>ELI: Have you thought about the advice you last time, about pushing yourself?<br/>GORDON: I have. [and I mean, it got me places. I hated it, but it got me places nonetheless.]<br/>ELI: Good! Good. Well. Do you mind if I ask for advice myself?<br/>GORDON: [HUH????] …okay. </p><p>Eli started to pace in circles, speeding up as he went.</p><p>ELI: I, as you know, am under a lot of pressure recently. I’m trying to organize it all- I have so many people looking to me for advice and answers, and it seems I keep messing it up. I feel like I’m the root of my project’s problems. Any time I try to do my best judgement or take the best action, I end up jeopardizing the project, the data or even my professional relationship with my colleagues. I feel like I just mess it all up, if that makes any sense.<br/>GORDON: [man, it’s the same shit, different situation. I DO get it, Vance.] It makes sense.<br/>ELI: I just feel like I need to fix it, I just… I just don’t know how.</p><p>Gordon could hear the strange noises coming from the bathroom door.</p><p>GORDON: Sometimes… Before we can fix something, we have to realize we have the tools to fix it. [Hopefully, Eli didn’t hear the Plumber say that first… is plagiarizing advice a fireable offence?]</p><p>Eli started at him for a moment as he stopped his pacing.</p><p>ELI: That… that makes a lot of sense. I HAVE the tools to fix the problem, I shouldn’t just sit around while it all just keeps falling apart! Freeman, Thank you.</p><p>Eli shook Gordon’s hand vigorously. He didn’t stop until he was done talking.</p><p>ELI: I’m sorry I barged in, but you understand that a Senior Researcher asking for advice from colleges doesn’t look great. But I had a feeling about you, and it turned out to be right. You’re a bright young man, and we’ve had this conversation before, but I need to be honest with you Freeman, if anyone knew I’d been asking advice of the new guy, I’d be the laughingstock. It’s a painful truth, sadly, but that’s bureaucracy. So, thank you, for your wise words and good ear, but let’s pretend I’m the wise one for now, okay?<br/>GORDON: okay [I think I’m supposed to be offended but I’m a little more worried about the noises from the bathroom…is that glass breaking?]<br/>ELI: Okay, Good day Mr. Freeman, I’ll think about your words for a while.</p><p>Eli turned on his heels and waved at Gordon as he power-walked out of the room and down the hall.</p><p>GORDON: [Sometimes… Before we can fix something, we have to realize we have the tools to fix it. Huh.]</p><p>The sounds continued to escalate, including the sound of something banging a pipe repeatedly, the moo of a cow, and something cooking in a frying pan. Gordon was seconds away from opening the door, swearing he could smell eggs, until the door swung open revealing the exhausted looking lamppost of a man in his dry, unwet, water not-having clean clothes and paraphernalia. The bathroom behind him was also, dry, much to Gordon’s utter shock (which he tried to conceal.)</p><p>PLUMBER: The weather… has been… odd, lately<br/>GORDON:  Will I have to pay you or is this a Black Mesa service? [Sick of your shit, man] </p><p>Just as Gordon had ignored the man’s statement, he ignored Gordon’s question. The Plumber side stepped Gordon and got to the door and paused before exiting.</p><p>PLUMBER: It gets pleasant…at night…..in the desert….under….only.. the sky…..it is a… wonderful thing…..Mr. Freeman… there’s so much…. you aren’t... even aware... of….</p><p>He took a step out the door and turned 90 degrees towards the left hall, with a rigid movement so unlike a human and yet, so disgustingly alive. He didn’t look at Gordon as he spoke.</p><p>PLUMBER: Goodbye…. Mr. Freeman……</p><p>The man started to stride away, neither confident nor timid, but you could tell he had places to be. Gordon closed (and locked) the door from the inside.</p><p>GORDON: [I have GOT to stop letting people into my dorm. I better check out the bathroom and see if he ACTUALLY fixed it or if I just let some delusional man bang his junk all over my toilet.]</p><p>Checking the bathroom, his toilet did in fact seem to be working, but it was something beside it that caught Gordon’s attention.<br/>A toolbox.</p><p>GORDON: [This is one hell of a tool-based metaphor.]</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i dont write dialogue i take nyquil and i wake up with a 55 page document.<br/>nonetheless &lt;3 i write things for me :) but thanks for making it this far!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the end. thank you for reading xoxo<br/>anyways. this is my first fic. ive got a ton written that i might post over the course of a week or so.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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